Seasoning Cast Iron Cookware: The Black Goddess

Many years ago in a land far, far, away this author suffered the cruel slings and arrows of a bitter divorce. Well, it was a land, but most would say north Florida. In any case, the bitterness of the divorce had a cause. In the division of property, a most valuable of all assets was lost, the cast iron skillet.

Only the most savvy of kitchen denizens know the true value of properly seasoned cast iron cookware. Whether a trusty skillet, Dutch oven or for the lucky few griddle, cast iron cookware has a reputation unmatched in cookware history.

That trusty skillet, chicken fryer to be exact, had been purchased many years in advance of the union doomed to failure. With the care only a cast iron purist could provide the skillet was seasoned with tender loving care. Only bacon fat, the most versatile of all saturated animal fats, was used in the initial seasoning process. None of the oven baking trickery, using vegetable oils or sprays was employed. Bacon was the only item cooked in the skillet for the first week of its culinary life.

After each batch of bacon, the fat was allowed to rest in the pan. After cooling, the bacon grease was lovingly swabbed around the entire interior of the black goddess of cuisine. The thought of soap never entered the mind of the knowing skillet steward. The steward allowed the black goddess to soak in all the luxurious pork fat she desired.

After the skillet satiated her thirst for the fat of southern life, it was time for her first bath. No soap was involved; her bath was in fire that seals the fate of the saturated fat molecules in her porous interior. After cooling, the unabsorbed fat was poured off and a plain paper towel used to wipe the business end of the ultimate cookery.

Now the black goddess was ready for her first mission. True Southern fried chicken. With her matching clear glass lid and Crisco for inspiration, her first batch was awesome. The chicken was perfectly cooked, meaning each piece had a slightly darker than golden brown portion where the fowl met the metal. Many uneducated in the ways of Southern frying, criticize the appearance. That dark crispy goodness is the essence of Southern fried chicken. Yes, it can be over done, it can be omitted, but if true Southern fried chicken is the goal, the crispy darkness has to be obtained.

Knowing that a worthy steward of cast iron cookware would never attempt gravy the first time out of the gate, the goddess rested with her inspiration to cool. Once the Crisco was drain off, never to be used again, the interior of the black goddess was swabbed yet again. Soap never touched her delicate interior.

Ever so gently, the steward coaxed the first brown gravy out of the goddess on the next attempt. Careful to quickly pour off the gravy, rinse clean with water while the skillet was hot and dry with a paper towel, the complexion of the black goddess was never compromised.

The goddess proved her worth over many years. Country fried steak simmered in Southern brown gravy, Southern fried chicken, cornbread in the oven and even steak seared in the lap of cast iron luxury. The goddess never failed in any culinary endeavor.

To illustrate her prowess, the steward would fry eggs over easy on her ebony patina. They always cooked to perfection with only a hint of oil. Never did the eggs stick. The eggs could be flipped without the aid of cumbersome utensils; only the deft hand of the steward was needed. The black goddess and her loyal steward constructed many meals over the following years.

Then one fateful day, the steward fell for the charms of the blonde bombshell of culinary iniquity, the slatherer of catsup on filet mignon, the queen of Mac and cheese in the box! In his intoxicated state, the steward knew not the peril faced by the black goddess. Lost in the oblivion of love and/or lust, the steward introduced the black goddess to the queen of Mac in a box.

The evil queen's attention quickly turned to the goddess. "Let me scour the skillet with Comet cleanser!" the queen cried. "Never!" responded the steward. The goddess knew the honeymoon was over. Her only hope was that her faithful steward would emerge whole from the spell cast upon him by the evil queen.

The goddess' hopes were dashed. The evil queen and her prince Sir Esquire of the Bar, gained possession of the black goddess and banished the steward to unseasoned purgatory. Never to feel her carbon coated surface again.

Okay! Maybe that was a little overboard, but cast iron cookware is the ticket for great cooking. It involves a labor of love seasoning and cleaning. Yes, you can wash a well-seasoned skillet with soap and water. Just thoroughly dry and coat with a light bit of oil. Avoid setting another pan inside a cast iron skillet when storing. If you mess up, you can scour and go back to bacon 101 to re-season. Re-seasoning doesn't take too long. Cook the bacon, let the skillet cool, pour off and wipe out most of the fat, and then reheat until the remaining fat just starts to smoke. After letting the skillet cool, wipe it down good and apply a light coat of the fat. Before using, heat the skillet and wipe down before adding oil/fat. Three hundred plus degree heat kills dang near every germ invented, so don't go getting squeamish on me.

Yes, you can use chicken fat to season and you can use saturated vegetable shortening. As long as it is a saturated fat. Why saturated fat? Because saturate fat is saturated, meaning it won't pick up stray iron or other nasty tasting molecules. Check out Alton Brown in "Good Eats" on the cooking channel sometime. He uses a cute little train analogy that explains it better than I can.

In the Teflon age, cast iron is over looked, though it is one of the greatest of all cookware materials. That heavy cast iron pan has some of the most even heating properties any chef will encounter. That is not to say I would be caught dead without a high quality Teflon coated skillet, or my stainless steel, copper coated Revere Ware pots (in the pre-nups this time by golly). Cast iron does require a different kind of care, but it is worth the effort. Be careful though, you may grow attached to the black goddess of cookware.