Secessionists! Don't Let the Door Hit You in the Ass!

You're wrong to think the attacks on Obama are primarily racist. The pathetic ignoramuses at the core of the right-wing aren't teabaggers, birthers, deathers, tenthers, creationists, superpats and secessionists because they're racist. They are teabaggers, birthers, deathers, tenthers, creationists, superpats, secessionists and racists because they're pathetic ignoramuses!

The Tenther Movement, referencing the Tenth Amendment -- "The powers not designated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people" -- shows just how unhinged from reality the loony right has become. Settled case law not withstanding, it is shear economic suicide for them to advocate secession.

According to the Census Bureau, 32 states receive more in federal assistance than they contribute in personal and corporate income taxes. Care to guess which states do the most sucking at the federal teat? Here's a hint; 21 of those raking in more than they shell out voted for John McCain in 2008. The very states where all the babble about socialism, sedition and secession is playing so well. I say let 'em secede! Let's just see how they'd fair without the evil federal government subsidizing their butts.

As of August 2009, seven southern and big box beggar states have passed resolutions in support of "state sovereignty" under the provisions of the Tenth Amendment: Alaska ($1.84 received for every dollar in federal taxes paid), Louisiana ($1.78), North Dakota ($1.68), South Dakota ($1.53), Oklahoma ($1.41), Tennessee ($1.27) and Idaho ($1.21). Additionally, resolutions are pending in Alabama ($1.66), Montana ($1.47), Arkansas ($1.41), Missouri ($1.32), and Kansas ($1.12).

On top of which you've got your governors like Alaska's Sarah Palin, Louisiana's Bobby Jindal and South Carolina's Mark Sanford riling up the troglodytes with crazy talk about secession and threatening to forsake federal stimulus money while, respectively, garnering $1.84, $1.78 and $1.35 in handouts for every dollar their residents pay in federal taxes. And then there's John McCain, inveighing against pork and earmarks while Arizona taps $1.19 for every buck it sends to Washington.

Talk about chutzpa! Of the 18 states that pay more than they get, only Texas voted for McCain. But it's just barely in the negative column at number 35 with 94¢ of federal spending per dollar of federal taxes. Compare this to bluest of blue New Jersey at number 50 with 61¢ .

Actually, if liberals in the benefactor Blue States had any sense they would be the ones screaming for secession!

If California (78¢ ) and New York (79¢ ), much maligned by conservatives for their financial woes, received the same percentage of federal largesse that shitholes like Mississippi ($2.02) and West Virginia ($1.76) get back from Uncle Sam, they'd also be running balanced budgets.

As usual, when the numbers are crunched, the facts made known and rationality restored, the right-wing claquers are wrong again. Whether on health care, immigration, terrorism, abortion, gay marriage, intelligent design, or in this case, preservation of the Union, you can be sure their heads are filled with garbled facts, twisted logic and plenty of venomous hatred.

I've drank with these yahoos in working class bars for years. They may have learned to no longer say "nigger" outside a very small circle of their knuckle dragging friends but they're still thinking "nigger!" They're thinking "nigger" every time they vent against Martin Luther King Day or Black History Month. And let me tell you they do a lot of venting. It's simply preposterous to assume their current rage is merely the result of befuddlement over economic circumstances or fear of an out-of-control federal bureaucracy and not at all over the "nigger" in the "Black House."

And I spent a career in corporate boardrooms sucking up to egomaniacal Republican executives (for contributions to various charities) who were way too sophisticated -- and too careful -- to ever say "nigger" in public. Instead they used code phases like "having the right background" and "our kind of people."

And right now these "establishment" Republicans are playing those ignorant yahoos like a Stradivarius in order to maintain their national corporate culture of deceit, avarice and exploitation -- all against the very economic and social self-interests of the same dumb fuckers who are calling Obama a fascist, a Muslim Marxist and the anti-Christ. They love it. They love to see the right-wing whack jobs rant and rave against progressive policies. It's Nixon's Southern Strategy trotted out once again for one more spin.

It's all a big game to them. You think these big shot suits give a damn about conservative social issues or what damage this hate mongering is doing to the country. The only thing they care about is their capacity to make and keep as much money as possible. And any government policy that gets in the way of that will be hammered with every bit of influence peddling, political bribery and creepy manipulation of the right-wing morons at their disposal. Obama scares the shit out of them and they are bound and determined to bring down his presidency.

It is the only way the economically powerful, who are after all at most twenty percent of the population, can hope to also control the levers of political power. They must convince enough knuckle-dragging hicks, rednecks and racists not that their form of gonzo capitalism could ever benefit them -- because it just never will -- but that those other guys -- those Big Government lefties, those soft-on-crime bleeding hearts, those anti-war, anti-torture traitors, those anti-god, egghead elitists, those, wink, wink, niggers and nigger-lovers -- those guys are the villains!

Progressivism will never be safe in America as long as the economic and power elite can game the numbskulls. So let the crazies secede. Goodbye Alabama. Goodbye Oklahoma. Goodbye Wyoming. Don't let the door hit you in the ass!