Secondary Infertility: Coping with this Often Misunderstood Condition

Sometimes the first pregnancy goes exactly as planned and couples take their precious baby home from the hospital and dream of the day they will have their next bundle of joy. The fact of the matter is, the second time around many not be as simple as the first. It is very possible that a couple may face secondary infertility problems that may cause emotional problems from both the husband and the wife. Secondary infertility is a problem that plagues many couples and should not be taken lightly. It is often more difficult to deal with infertility when there is already a child in the picture. There are ways to make coping with secondary infertility more bearable. Couples experiencing secondary infertility often feel the same as those who loose a child, have a miscarriage or loose a child during birth. Dealing with secondary infertility is difficult and can make a strong marriage weak.

For some couples that got pregnant easily the first time, it is possible even the doctors will dismiss secondary infertility signs and simply tell the couple to keep trying. If you have only been trying for a few months try to remain positive. Stress in itself can cause infertility. If you blame yourself without even really giving nature a chance to take its course you can get upset prematurely. Keep trying but remain calm.

Often friends and family are less sympathetic to couples that suffer from secondary infertility. It is a common misconception that because the couple has one child, they should be thankful for the one they have since some people can not even conceive one child. It is very important to take the time to teach and educate friends and family members about secondary infertility so they are able to offer the much needed moral and emotional support.

A common problem couples experience with secondary infertility is they tend to distance themselves emotional and physically. This can only lead to more problems with the relationship. In order to keep this from happening it is important to keep the lines of communication open between you and your spouse. You need to try and stay on the same wave length and find common ground. Work together to find a way where the two of you can communicate openly and honestly.

In dealing with secondary infertility sex can become a chore more than a physical desire. It is a good idea to try and keep the fires in the bedroom ignited. When sex is no longer passionate, spice it up a bit. Consider buying some sexy lingerie or trying new positions. Keep your spouse aroused and in the mood so they don't feel like sex is a chore otherwise it can lead to unwanted stress and confrontations. Even if you have to take a break from trying to conceive, keep your passion and marriage alive first and foremost.

When dealing with secondary infertility do not put your child's needs on the back burner. Even though there may be conception issues, there is no need to take away from the child that is already part of your family. Take time out and do special things to insure the family bond stays in tact and the existent child's emotional and physical needs are being met.

Be sure to keep your existing families needs ahead of the need for parenting a second child. Financial it is important to live within your means. Often conception issues can be an expensive unforeseen expense and it is important not to put the need for having a second child above the needs of the existing family. Becoming a parent again is important, but not so important your existing family must sacrifice everything for it to become a reality. There are many children out there needing a loving home.

Find a support group or family counselor that can help you and your spouse deal with secondary infertility. Often the advice of a completely neutral party can arbitrate feelings that can cause trouble in a marriage. Counselors are trained in helping others cope with trauma, so find a therapist and let them help you. It is no ones fault you family has to deal with this.

Start a journal and write your feelings out. It may seem silly, but it helps. You can keep a journal you never have to share with anyone. Let the journal be a way for you to express the feelings you have of dealing with secondary infertility. Write your private thoughts out on paper and you may be surprised how much better you will feel just to get some of the stress off your chest.

Find a support group for others dealing with secondary infertility. You can even choose an online support group and you never have to leave the house if you are uncomfortable taking about your problems face to face. It is always nice to know you aren't alone and there are others that share your pain.

After all other options have been ruled out, consider your options. Just because you can not conceive a second child does not mean you can't have another child. Depending on your financial situation there is surrogacy and adoption to consider. Either of these options can leave you with a second child that though may not be biological, will be part of your family in every other way. Adopting can be just as exciting as actually having a natural child of your own.

For all the couples dealing with secondary infertility, know you are not alone. More than three million Americans are affected by secondary infertility each year. Stay strong and keep faith. Seek help in every way you can to keep your family and your marriage strong.