Secondary Infertility and the Emotional Journey of One

Infertility is a heartbreaking stressful disorder for anyone to go through. I know because I have dealt with it. What most people do not realize though that there two types of infertility, primary infertility and secondary infertility.

When I was 16 I was finally diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome. After seeing many specialists and finally changing family doctors it was the new family doctor who diagnosed me. To this day I have hang up's about going to the gynecologist because I was passed off and told it was gastrointestinal related. What was I to know I was just a stupid girl who didn't know her body, according to some of the doctors I had visited! I was 13 when all this started but diagnosed at 16.

At this time a heartless gynecologist looked me straight in the face and told me I would never have children and to just accept it. I was 16! I had my life ahead of me. Over the years I had many laparoscopes done to remove cysts. I was in a steady relationship and I will admit to not using protection we were only with each other after all. My periods were never regular and missing periods for 6 months were normal to me. I never imagined in my life I could possibly be pregnant. You see I suffer from secondary infertility. I was able to carry my daughter for almost 9 months and she was born Christmas day. She was truly my miracle.

It wasn't until later into my 20's I started to experience severe pain and no one understood what I was going though. Tons of medications later I was diagnosed through a laparoscopic procedure that I had endometriosis. I had a bad case too, bad enough to be put on large doses of narcotics. My quality of life diminished and I had a child to raise alone, her father had passed away.

I was told once again never to expect any more children and that my daughter was truly a miracle. Fast forward 6 years into the future I got remarried and I kept getting pregnant, but none of the pregnancies were viable. I had miscarriage after miscarriage to the tune of 12 of them. No one could find a reason as to why this was happening and why all of a sudden I was able to get pregnant after all the years of nothing.

At this point frustrated and pushing harder because I wanted another child so badly it hurt. I couldn't stand to see pregnant women or see babies it tore at my heart. I was told by friends who were not able to have any children to be grateful for what I had, and I was, but it still tore at my heart and I knew I was not done having kids. I knew some way or another someone out there could help.

I went to a new doctor in town and though all my test results came back with nothing wrong he decided to try progesterone suppositories the next time I got pregnant. It's been almost 8 years since I walked through that doctors door and I know have another beautiful daughter due to him.

I have since lost both my fallopian tubes due to ectopic pregnancies and though I still feel the need to have more children I am complexly infertile now. My advice to all women out there is not to give up hope and keep searching for the right doctor. Had I stopped at the very start of this I would never know the joy of holding my infant in my arms.