Secret Life of a Husband of a Drunk

"GARDEN CITY, N.Y.( Thurs., Aug 6, 2009)- today.msnbc.msn.com/id/32314371/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/The husband of a suburban New York mother who caused a car crash that killed her and seven others said Thursday she didn't have a drinking problem and suggested diabetes and other health problems were to blame.

Police say Schuler downed more than 10 vodkas and smoked marijuana before driving her minivan nearly two miles on the Taconic State Parkway and slamming head-on into a sport-utility vehicle. Her 2-year-old daughter and three nieces were killed with her, along with three men in the SUV. Schuler's 5-year-old son survived.

Her blood-alcohol level was more than twice the state's legal limit, and she had smoked pot as soon as 15 minutes before the crash, according to toxicology reports from the Westchester County medical examiner's office."

With the tragic loss of children's lives, and the other victims of the woman accused of drunk driving who killed them while driving drunk, it horribly brought to mind my own experiences with a wife who once was also affected by this insidious disease.

The question of whether the husband knew that his wife had a drinking problem and was quickly admonished as he boldly said that his wife never showed signs of a problem with alcohol.

How easily he threw out the denial had me believing that he was still protecting his wife from their hidden little lie was to me as obvious as trying to hide a hippopotamus in the living room.

He knew. And if his naiveté was enough to not actually know, he suspected. Believe me, coming home finding his wife sound asleep in the middle of the afternoon when she was supposed to be at work, tells a sad tale of too much too long.

Taking off days and lying around home, "working" at some brought home work, or sick days that don't seem to have a real illness but sniffles and more anesthetic drinking to ease the ills.

If the children didn't notice mommies overly sluggishness in her daily activity with them, them mom was a better actor than mom, because the children would have saw mommie in her far less careful state while drinking, like driving them places and a little unsteady on her feet.

Yes, someone knew, and someone lied. This woman had to have had more of a history of incidents than the one broadcast.

If she was inebriated enough to drive two miles down a one way street, she was in a black out and I am sure it was not the first time.

And if all these people as a family, were so blind as not to see ANYTHING, how close were they? I pray over the loss of the children. Grieve for the lives of the other lost victims. And wish someone had asked this woman ahead of time, if she had a problem.

It's too late to think about what might have been. But it's not too late to worry about what could be going on in someone's life right now, right next to you.

It's hard to admit to one's self they have a problem. Maybe a notice by a loved one could have helped this woman before the tragic mistake that took so many lives. Maybe one word could save someone from making the same mistake. Just one.
Think.