Secrets of Bonding Rabbits: Matchmaking for Bunnies, Part 2

When I went to my first bunny match, I didn't know if I trusted the rabbit rescue group. That was silly on my part because it was House Rabbit Society! I knew after my handsome male bunny picked out a bond mate, he was supposed to go spend a week at someone else's house to be bonded during a bunnymoon in neutral territory. That meant not at my house.

I had fears about the bunnymoon that proved baseless. The long time rabbit bonder who bonded my male bunny and his new little bond mate had done hundreds of rabbit bondings. The bunnies were in very good hands! I did call her often during the bunnymoon to see how they were doing. They came home earlier than expected.

I couldn't imagine what the volunteer was talking about when she described a bunny match. She said there would be x-pens set up all over the place and lots of bunnies everywhere. Who would introduce them?

Experienced volunteers did the introductions. When I arrived, there were puppy x-pens set up all over the house and on the lawn. In each x-pen was a volunteer who was acting as chaperone for that bunny match. Cat carriers with foster rabbits inside were stacked up along the walls. Volunteers would take the carriers to each x-pen so the foster bunnies and single bunnies could meet. We had to wait for our bunny's turn in the x-pen while a very selective rabbit met almost every foster bunny there before that x-pen became available.

Finally it was our rabbit's turn. Our big, strapping male, aged 7, was placed in the x-pen. One by one, he was introduced to different female foster bunnies. He showed no interest in any of them. At last, the volunteer conducting our bunny match announced, "Well ok let's go ahead and try Jenni." The volunteer who was Jenni's foster mom, sighed "Oh Jenni!" Jenni had been having trouble getting adopted because she would fight with every bunny she met.

Jenni was placed in the x-pen with our rabbit. She ran up to him snorting and ready to box. Our bunny slowly stood up and used his two front paws to push her under his chest. Then he sat on her head.

It was love at first sight. After a long while, Jenni emerged from underneath our big bunny. Her eyes were squinting and her mouth slightly open in a rabbit smile. She was in love.

Rabbit Body Language to Look for at a Bunny Match

How do you tell when it's love at first sight? I had never seen a rabbit smile before like the one I've just described. I am very attuned to animals though. I knew from watching all the expressions of the girl bunnies I'd just seen unsuccessfully introduced to boy bunnies, Jenni's facial expression was positive.

So let's analyze the different reactions you will typically see at a bunny match. Are they positive or negative?

After the bunnies are both placed in an x-pen:

1. One rabbit viciously attacks the other. Don't be afraid. Your experienced rabbit rescue volunteer should deftly defuse this situation. At matches that I conduct, my lightening fast reactions help me grab one or both of the rabbits before any painful, damaging bites can be inflicted. This is a bad reaction though and these two bunnies should not be bonded. See Part 1 of this series for an in depth explanation why.

2. Both rabbits ignore each other. This is a positive development. Passivity means it's a potential match. If they don't try to kill each other immediately, it's a potential match. But it could be better.

3. One bunny pushes his or her head under the chin of the other rabbit. This is called 'presenting.' The presenting bunny is demanding to be groomed. She is attracted to the other rabbit and making it known she expects to be in charge. She wants to be 'the boss.' Whether this is good or bad depends on the reaction of the other bunny.

4. The other rabbit attacks the 'presenting' bunny. This is probably not good. Your volunteer should be standing right next to the pair ready to pull them apart the split second this development occurs. Frequently this development is actually ok because the 'attack' could be superficial or light-hearted.

5. The presenting rabbit keeps presenting and the other bunny keeps attacking. This is not good. The presenting rabbit is being bossy and so is the other one. Keep looking.

6. The bunnies chase each other casually in a circle and sniff each other's butts. This is pretty good. Make sure they have enough space so that they can get away from each other. This is a little game of playing hard to get. It's a positive sign.

7. One rabbit chases the other and bites the other bunny's butt. This is generally not good. It means that the rabbit who is biting the other rabbit's butt is a mean rabbit. The mean rabbit must fall head over heels in love in order to become a nice bond mate. Keep looking.

8. One rabbit approaches the other and the other leaps straight up into the air and over the first rabbit. The leaping rabbit is a nervous, high-strung, unsocialized rabbit (to other rabbits) and also most likely male. This leaping rabbit needs a calm, experienced female rabbit. Ask if the rescue has any female rabbits whom they suspect have been successful mothers. These motherly female rabbits are calming and reassuring to nervous male rabbits. See section below for further explanation.

9. One of the rabbits starts humping the other rabbit and won't stop. This is neutral. If the humping rabbit is sinking his teeth into the other rabbit's shoulder, it's not good. The humping rabbit is mean and needs to find true love. If the humping rabbit is not obsessive about the humping, it's neutral and a potential match. Both rabbits might trade off humping each other. As long as they aren't obsessive about the humping, It's a potential match.

10. The rabbits gently put their faces together and one begins licking the eyes or ears of the other. The one being licked patiently accepts these affections from the other. This is love at first sight. Put them both in a carrier, go out for dinner and celebrate.

The Mother Rabbit and the Nervous Boy

Some of the above points need further explanation. In number 8, I illustrate the reactions of an unsocialized male rabbit. These males will often leap straight up in the air when calmly approached by a female. They may also lurch horribly and dash off when the tips of their whiskers are touched by another rabbit. An unsocialized female will react the same way but more likely, she will just attack or box with other rabbits.

When viewing the nervous male and the motherly female, an inexperienced eye might think that the male rabbit doesn't like the female rabbit. The motherly female rabbit's reaction to the over-reactions of the nervous male rabbit should be no reaction. The nervous male rabbit will then keep approaching the motherly female rabbit to test her consistency and patience. She should continue to have no reaction. Eventually the male rabbit calms down and he should start trying to present to her. Her reaction will be to gently groom him. The motherly female rabbit knows grooming another rabbit doesn't mean that rabbit is in charge. Rather it means that rabbit is insecure. The motherly female rabbit knows how to address this insecurity and help the nervous male rabbit overcome it.

The Aggressive Rabbit and Love at First Sight

Rabbits who are aggressive with other rabbits are customarily insecure. Rabbits are like dogs in that they are highly social and live in strict hierarchies. With dogs and also wolves, the alpha male doesn't have to defend his position. He is the alpha male because other dogs or wolves defer to him without his having to assert himself.

With rabbits, the aggressive rabbit is not used to being in charge. These aggressive rabbits very much want to defer to another rabbit. They are aggressive because they are trying to find a rabbit who deserves their respect.

With some aggressive male rabbits, they are looking for a tough female rabbit. They are looking for a female rabbit based strictly on physical attraction. Frequently, that means a rabbit who looks very different from how they look. When the aggressive male rabbit finds that female rabbit who makes him swoon, he will be totally submissive. She may even hump him to assert her dominance and he will be in bliss.

With aggressive female rabbits, nearly 100% of the time they will want to be with a male rabbit who is quite a bit larger than themselves. It is a good bet that almost any larger male rabbit will do. The more larger than they the better. But it's not a complete guarantee. Large aggressive female rabbits tend to want much larger male rabbits and these can be hard to find. They're out there - check Petfinder.com - you can find one.

There are times when a rabbit will come to a bunny match who has lost their bond mate. The bond mate has died and the original bunny match between these two was love at first sight. Now the adopter will settle for nothing less. That's very nice but it's asking a little much of the rescue group to keep searching endlessly on their behalf. It is also unrealistic because I find that love at first sight only happens once in a rabbit's lifetime.

Your rabbit has the love of their life just like people do. When it's gone, it's gone forever. The surviving rabbit can still find happiness with another bond mate however. The adopter should settle for a nice pairing that doesn't put volunteers through too much hassle. After all, bonders are volunteers not paid professionals. We all have other things to do like helping more rabbits and taking care of our families.

The Trickster Rabbit

There are those bunny matches and subsequent bunny bondings that fall horribly apart. The two rabbits seem well matched at the bunny match. Everything goes well during the bunnymoon. The two rabbits go back home and everything seems fine for a short while. Suddenly fighting breaks out. The supposedly timid, submissive rabbit turns in the Monty Python rabbit - a monster.

This happens occasionally and it's no one's fault. There are some rabbits who have a dark side to them. They act all this and that while secretly plotting some fiasco. Often it's a male rabbit who is what I call a 'king' bunny or a 'Napoleon' rabbit. He acts nice and pleasant outside his kingdom but when back in his domain, he becomes a despotic ruler. This kind of bunny most likely does not want a bond mate. They want their kingdom and their people all to themselves and do not want to share. They cannot be changed.

Sometimes it's the female rabbit who acts like she is the most scared little bunny rabbit on Earth. She pretends to seek protection from the male bunny. Then when she goes to the home of the male rabbit, she turns on him and the people too. This bunny likes to be where she was and wants to go back there. Female rabbits become very attached to their cages and litter boxes and their people to the point that they just can't be rehomed or bonded because of it. This is thankfully unusual.

Wild Hearts

As I've said many times, in the wild, rabbits mate for life. ¹ Their natural behavior of boxing comes from fighting for their mates, sometimes to the death. It's important to them to find the right bond mate so hopefully it will be important for you too. Even when they are altered (spayed or neutered), bunnies still have social requirements meaning they should live in heterosexual pairs. Too often do I meet people who keep unspayed females (sisters) together and think this is fulfilling their social needs. This is better than the rabbits being alone but nothing beats having a little pair of altered bunnies, male and female, who are in love. Two same sex rabbits may take care of each other and groom each other but they will not be in love.

Maybe that's why February is Adopt-A-Rescued-Rabbit month on Petfinder.com - because it's also Valentine's month and the month of true love.

In Part 3 of this series, I will discuss how to conduct the actual bonding during the bunnymoon.

Sources:
¹ The Private Life of the Rabbit by R.M. Lockley, Introduction by Richard Adams, "They were not unusually promiscuous and in many instances retained the same mate for life."