Secrets of Project Runway Season Four

Tim Gunn's new makeover show is cute but doesn't fill the void and it's nothing we haven't seen before. His real home is standing behind a designer trying to tell him that looks stinks but the designer is just too dim to catch it. I can't wait to see him put his hand under his chin and say "hmm" while looking disbelievingly at a designer's misguided attempt to create haute couture using Dixie cups and feathers.

It seems like it has been forever since we saw tattooed terror Jeffrey take the title of top designer in season three. Has anyone heard from Jeffrey lately? Is he attending the Ruben Studdard Academy of failed hopes? Oh wait, I think he tanked on his fashion show and his wife took the child and left. He was a really nice guy and probably deserved everything he got. See that's thinly veiled sarcasm. I can do it. Ironically I can't do irony. See what I mean. That wasn't ironic at all. Just sad.

The show that gave us more catfights than America's Next Top Model is finally coming back to television. Project Runway must have a very talented casting department. Either that or designers and designer wannabes just naturally belong on the short bus to Dramaville.

This year the cast of fledgling designers doesn't initially seem to be as crazy as the last season. I can only hope for some underling personality issues. Not everyone can show their emotions on their sleeve (and neck) like Jeffrey could.

CARMEN

AGE: 37
HOMETOWN: Charlotte, NC
EDUCATION: Architecture at Savannah College of Art & Design
FAVORITE DESIGNERS: Tracy Reece, Epperson and Byron Lars
FASHION MUST: A fantastic shawl or scarf that can be worn in many different ways

CHRIS

AGE: 44
HOMETOWN: San Francisco, CA
EDUCATION: Self-taught
FAVORITE DESIGNERS: Dior
FASHION MUST: Bright-colored anything

CHRISTIAN

AGE: 21
HOMETOWN: Annapolis, MD
EDUCATION: Baltimore School for the Arts and The American Intercontinental University, London
FAVORITE DESIGNERS: McQueen and Westwood
FASHION MUST: Amazing jacket or blazer

ELISA

AGE: 42
HOMETOWN: El Paso, TX
EDUCATION: Master of Fine Arts in Combined Media with an emphasis on sculpture, performance and installation from the University of Arizona, Tucson
FAVORITE DESIGNERS: Erte, Jean Cocteau, Madame Gris, Zaldy, Norma Kamali
FASHION MUST: A great pair of boots

JACK

AGE: 38
HOMETOWN: Seattle, WA
EDUCATION: University of California at Berkeley with a double degree in Fine Arts and Sociology and Parsons School of design
FAVORITE DESIGNERS: Diane Von Furstenberg, Alexander McQueen (For Men)
FASHION MUST: A sugar daddy

JILLIAN

AGE: 26
HOMETOWN: Long Island, NY
EDUCATION: Parsons School of Design
FAVORITE DESIGNERS: Nicolas Ghesquiere for Balanciaga and Azzedine Alaia
FASHION MUST: A sweater dress (ideally with pockets hidden in the side seams) worn with opaque colored tights

KIT (CHRISTINA)

AGE: 26
HOMETOWN: Los Angeles, CA
EDUCATION: Fashion Institute of Technology, New York and Polimoda Institute of Fashion Design and Marketing, Italy
FAVORITE DESIGNERS: Viktor & Rolf
FASHION MUST: Balenciaga fringed scarf

KEVIN

AGE: 30
HOMETOWN: Fairfield, NJ
EDUCATION: Fashion Institute of Technology, New York
FAVORITE DESIGNERS: Alexander McQueen, Jean-Paul Gaultier
FASHION MUST: Cool vintage boots

MARION

AGE: 39
HOMETOWN: Tyler, TX
EDUCATION: Parsons School of Design, New York
FAVORITE DESIGNERS: Viktor & Rolf and Hussein Chalayan
FASHION MUST: Thin stretch suspenders

RAMI

AGE: 31
HOMETOWN: Ramallah, West Bank
EDUCATION: Brooks College in California
FAVORITE DESIGNERS: Alexander McQueen, Victor & Rolf, Olivier Theyskens
FASHION MUST: A hot pair of leather boots

RICKY

AGE: 35
HOMETOWN: Escondido, CA
EDUCATION: California State University, Long Beach
FAVORITE DESIGNERS: Prada
FASHION MUST: Gloves

SIMONE

AGE: 32
HOMETOWN: San Francisco, CA
EDUCATION: Parsons School of Design, Paris
FAVORITE DESIGNERS: Dries Van Noten
FASHION MUST: Organic wool and cashmere

STEVEN

AGE: 30
HOMETOWN: Chicago, IL
EDUCATION: Chicago's Columbia College
FAVORITE DESIGNERS: Yves St. Laurent
FASHION MUST: A cardinal red trench coat

SWEET P (KATHLEEN)

AGE: 46
HOMETOWN: Los Angeles, CA
EDUCATION: Los Angeles Trade Technical College
FAVORITE DESIGNERS: Prada, John Galliano, Marni, Chloe, Phillip Lim, Balenciaga
FASHION MUST: A dress

VICTORYA

AGE: 34
HOMETOWN: Seoul, Korea
EDUCATION: University of Chicago
FAVORITE DESIGNERS: Ghesquiere, Elbaz, Marc Jacobs
FASHION MUST: Patent leather ankle boots & colorful tights

It's hard to tell who is going to be the bad guy yet but looking at the pictures you can guarantee at least some drama from Chris, Christian and Marion. Hopefully Sweet P will be sent home first. That is a really bad name, unless you are designing clothing for the fetish community. Shower clothing. Enough hints.

So that is our cast. Hate them or love them they want to entertain us. If they didn't then fat men would never dress in high heels.