Seduction Has Consequences

Love and passion within a marriage go through cycles and you have to constantly keep the relationship in repair and that means that sometimes you give more and at other times your spouse does, but that's commitment and anything of value takes work.

Temptations are everywhere, but it's how we react to those temptations that determine our character and integrity. Any one of us, married or not, has the opportunity to be with another, but not all of us will succumb and make that choice.

I don't think it's selfish to feel tempted, I feel it's a warning.

If you feel unloved, unwanted or unappreciated and don't tell your spouse, how is it their fault if they don't know and don't have the chance to rectify it?

Let them know and if they won't change, then I don't blame you for wanting more (everyone needs to feel loved/wanted) but at least have the courage to tell them and realize that there will be consequences to the choices you make.

I also believe it's dangerous to continually put yourself in the presence of someone who could be a temptation, or already is. That is just asking for drama, and really, who needs more of that?

Confiding in someone of the opposite sex, or spending too much time with them, is disrespectful to your spouse because it gives the other person power - emotional arsenal so to speak and you should never allow another person the ability to strip your spouse of privacy. If you need a listener, choose one without an agenda.

One consequence of indulging in temptation is "falling out of love" with your spouse, and one reason for that could be pulling away from your spouse by being drawn to another. That's seduction and while it's intoxicating, it's a façade built on betrayal.

If you're feeling tempted, the honorable thing would be to break off communication with the one you're drawn to. Have the honor to give your marriage a chance without any outside distractions and dive in with complete commitment. Instead of picking fights, let go of resentments and make the effort to support your spouse and treat them as if you were in love with them. If you're no longer feeling it, at least act like it because those feelings, oftentimes, can be uncovered or reborn with a little attention, which is often reciprocated. You may have to act what you don't feel, but deep down, you were once in love with your spouse and somewhere, those feelings may still flicker within, even if you think the flame has run its course. However, if you keep closing out your spouse while giving another person access, you'll build nothing but destruction and true love will never be found in the wake of hurting souls.