Self Care Tips for Single Parents

The workload for a single parent can be greater than for someone who is married and has the support of a spouse. To help understand what are some challenges that single parents experience and for self care tips for single parents, I have interviewed psychotherapist Susanne Slay-Westbrook LPC.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

"I'm a psychotherapist in practice for 28 years. I specialize in working with persons dealing with trauma in their lives. In 2001, I wrote a book, A World of Respect, in which I talk about the need we all have for respect in all facets of our lives, from home to school, work, in our communities and our world. I also practice and teach an approach to doing therapy called Respect-Focused Therapy. In our practice, also called A World of Respect, we offer psychotherapy and marriage and family counseling, mediation, Ethics and Cultural Competency training and other workshops, as well as LPC and LMFT Supervision. Please visit us at www.aworldofrespect.com."

What are some challenges that single parents face?

"Single parents face a myriad of challenges daily that all parents have, except that typically single parents have no one to share them with. From the daily tasks of preparing meals, taking kids to school and helping with homework to the emotional energy needed when a game is lost or the first boyfriend breaks her heart, not to mention the financial burdens of childcare, healthcare, clothing, food, shelter, etc. Most of these needs and challenges are layered, that is, they are happening simultaneously, so there's often no break from one to the other and they're ongoing."

What type of impact can those challenges have a on single parent's overall well-being?

"The most obvious and critical fallout for single parents is exhaustion. Literally, "not enough hours in a day." Running down physically can lead to a breakdown in the immune system, which can make you susceptible to many different illnesses, decreasing your ability to meet the already over-demanding challenges. Emotional wear and tear from worry about money or "being there for the kids," can lead to anxiety, anger, frustration and depression. If these problems are extended out for a longer period of time, then not only is your health and well-being in danger, but so are your kids."

What are some self care tips you can give to single parents?

"First, do everything you can to take good care of your health. Get plenty of sleep, eat nutritiously, and get exercise. Your body needs good maintenance to endure high stress. Try to stay away from being overly dependent on alcohol or drugs, as this is easy to do in times of stress, but can complicate and deepen your problems significantly.

Make some time for you even if it's only 20-30 minutes a day. Take a walk, meditate, read a book, talk to a friend, play a game, watch your favorite show, something that regenerates you. We all need time out and time to recharge our batteries.

Don't isolate yourself. Keep in touch with family and friends. Ask for help when you need it. Just as you have play-dates for your kids, you need social time with other adults. Recognize your needs for support and companionship and don't be afraid to ask for it. Network with other single parents and share ideas and resources.

Be kind to yourself. Give yourself daily affirmations. You are a good parent. You are a good person. We all have strength and weaknesses and all make mistakes, but we have much to respect about ourselves for our sakes and the sakes of our kids."

What type of professional help is available for single parents who feel overwhelmed and stressed?

"Parents Without Partners is a good networking group for single parents. There are many singles groups and parents day and night'"out programs that are church and/or community based. There are also many parenting classes, free or nearly free available through organizations like the YMCA.

If you are feeling so overwhelmed that you fear hurting your child, call 1-800-4-ACHILD. If you are in fear of hurting yourself, call 911 or your local MHMR Hotline.

But before you get to that level of crisis, be fair and honest with yourself and seek professional counseling. There are therapists in private practice as well as in community agencies. Get a referral from your doctor, minister, school, neighbor or friend. But see someone and stay safe."

Thank you Susanne for doing the interview on self care tips for single parents.

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