Self-Confidence Requires Self-Acceptance

I am not a Dr. Phil and I do not have a degree in psychology. Thus, I am no expert in what I am saying. However, based on my observations and many conversations I noticed that we are really insecure about ourselves. We keep looking at the negatives and keep ignoring the positives. We are constantly in search of what is wrong with us. It is not out fault most of the time since everywhere we turn the media shoves in our face what is wrong with us. This is what the media tells us: You are too fat, too lazy, too pale, or you don't have the perfect abs or the perfect breasts or the perfect arms or chest. You do not have the right car or the right career. You are clinically depressed and you can not sleep. You have allergies. You are always worried. You are with the wrong guy or the wrong girl. You need a new style of clothes. You need, you need and you need and nothing is actually right with you. No wonder we became crazy on trying to fixing ourselves.

Here is another thing. If someone tells you a compliment, we immediately do not believe them. However, if someone tells you something negative, we immediately believe them. How is that possible? And where did that come from and why is it not the other way around? When did we start not believing in ourselves? I think these are valid questions that we need to ask ourselves and we need to find answers for.

I think this lack of confidence comes from the constant bombardment of negative messages we here everyday. Even models, who suppose to be "models" and who are known for their beauty suffer from depression and some consider themselves fat and ugly. Lately, the trend has been to starve ourselves like the Olsen twins, Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan and many more. These celebrities and models think that something is wrong with them. That negative message has spread to the point where we do not know what the right way to be is. We do not know what is good for ourselves. Are we supposed to be skinny to the bones like Nicole Richie or curvy like Beyonce. I think in short we need to find that the answer is neither. We have to be comfortable in our skin. One can say that the true beauty is inside and that beauty comes from within or even that beauty never lasts. All are known slogans and very ideal but I think in this day and age these messages are truly forgotten and we are constantly looking in the mirror to find what is wrong.

Do we blame the media and the advertising revolution that seems to be everywhere even on our underwear? Do we blame ourselves for letting them control our minds like mindless clowns? Our brain became program to short span messages due to all these ads. What is the answer? Are you ready for this? Close the television. Gasp...is the solution. Will that solve the problem? Probably not. That sounds weird I know. I just contradicted myself. But I really did not. I was trying to prove a point. I think the problem is not really the television or the magazines. I think the problem is we let them control us. We let them tell us what is wrong with us. We are listening to the wrong message. Depression, divorce, and suicide is record high. We are cutting toes, scalping skin shoving objects and using chemicals and all type of intricate weird objects just so we can look better and sometimes that does not happen and we end up loosing ourselves and in some tragic cases we end up more hideous. God knows how many plastic surgeries went wrong and just look at Michael Jackson. We might be happy for a second or two but for what cost and what purpose and what are the consequences?

We need to start accepting who we are. We need to know that nothing is perfect in life. We might not have the best weight, the best nose, the best lips, the best hair, etc. but that does not mean we are not worthy of a good life. That does not mean that we are essentially beautiful from the inside. That does not mean that prince charming or princess charming will never come. We need to start believing that when someone is complimenting they are not necessarily lying and we need to start ignoring the negative. There are many negatives things in our lives and if we only concentrate on them then we will never be able to see the good anymore. If we only see the glass as half-empty then we will always be thirsty.