Self-Defense: How-To Role Play

How-To Role Play

I trained for many years in karate and self-defense. When I was in college I took a self-defense course that changed my life. I not only learned how to defend myself both mentally and physically, but how to teach other women the same tools. I facilitated and taught several classes and seminars and it was one of the most liberating experiences of my life.

Self defense is not just about learning how to physically fend off an assault. A large part of defending yourself is preparing mentally in advance so that you can react quickly and instinctively. It can also help deflect an attack from ever taking place because you will become more confident and prepared, and therefore not an obvious or easy mark for a predator. Role-playing is a great way to help you and your friends/family think about how they would and/or should react in certain situations. When you role play with others it keeps your mind flexible and you will find that not only have you taught a vital lesson, but you will also learn one as well.

With younger children it's a good idea to role play scenarios that they might not expect. Pretend that you are a stranger looking for his/her puppy or lost daughter in a park. It's also important to emphasize that danger can come from women as well as men. Make sure you practice in a relaxed, non-threatening atmosphere such as your back yard or the play room. You don't want your child to be scared, just thinking about the "problem." Brainstorm different scenarios that you can role-play together and work through them before presenting them to your child. With younger kids it's fun to act it out like it's a play or a movie. Another good role play is what your child would do if you were late picking them up from school. Who should they call? What if someone offers them a ride home, even someone who is familiar to them? After role-playing talk about back-up plans with your child so that they will feel safer and more in control if these scenarios were to really occur. Role playing with young children should be done on a regular basis so that they can imprint the lessons.

Adolescents may think they know everything, and they project that image, but the world can be a cruel place for them. There are lots of temptations and dangers that lurk in every corner, which is why parents of teenagers live in a constant state of stress. However, instead of worrying about things we can't always control, try acting out several situations with your teenagers. This may be difficult because they consider themselves too cool for this kind of interaction. One solution is to tell them that unless they agree to discuss try it they will be extremely limited in their extracurricular activities because you'll be too worried about them. It also doesn't have to be an elaborate acting out of different parts. Simply sit down and have a discussion about situations that might come up in their lives. For example, pretend you're the parent of their friend who's had a few drinks and offers your child a ride home. Or perhaps you could act as a friend who offers your teen a drug or alcohol, or a member of the opposite sex trying to entice them into a sexual situation. Think about all the scenarios you worry about and brainstorm together what the game plan is for your teen and for you. It doesn't have to be all at once, which would be overwhelming. Plan a weekly or twice a month session to get together and role play. Maybe do it over a pizza and some soda, or a couple of ice cream cones. Your teenager may resist at first but deep down inside they will love and respect the fact that you care enough to talk to them about these things. It will most likely alleviate some anxiety that they feel about these topics, especially when they are ready to attend a new grade level or school.

Women young and old should role play with their spouses and/or their girlfriends. Perhaps your husband worries because you work in a bad part of town, or have to leave work after dark. Maybe you think your girlfriend makes some bad choices, such as going home with a stranger from a bar, or drinking too much at a party and then driving home. Whatever the worry or care it can help to sit down and work out some strategies together that will not only make everyone feel safer, but also closer and loved. As adults this can be a bonding and interesting experience. For example, role playing with your husband about how to navigate your way home safely might serve to bring you closer and at the same time help you feel more independent. If your girlfriend knows you care enough to support her and help her no matter what her choices, your friendship will be stronger.

The most important aspect in role-playing for self-defense is communication. The world can be a dangerous place and it helps to be prepared. This doesn't mean to expect the worst whenever we walk out the door. In practicing self-defense our confidence and self-esteem grow, as well as our knowledge and awareness of the world around us. This not only keeps us on our toes, but it projects a personality that is not as vulnerable. Role playing with family, friends, or even in a class can be not just a self-defense aid, but a lifelong lesson and gift. You can never have too much communication and support for the ones you love.