Self Esteem Tips for Elderly Women

For many elderly women today their sense of self esteem is low, which can impact their emotional and physical well-being. To help understand what are some causes for many elderly women having a low sense of self esteem and for self esteem tips for elderly women, I have interviewed psychotherapist Leah Schoen.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.
"I have been in the human services field since 2003. Started with a bachelors, ended up doing addiction treatment, and then got a masters in counseling psychology. Have my private practice now. I live in Portland with my fianc©e, Sarah and two dogs. I love hiking, the coast, camping, studying Buddhism, hearing people's stories, especially elderly folks."

What are some causes for many elderly women having a low sense of self esteem?
"I think there could be many reasons for elderly women to have low self esteem. Among them could be regrets from the past, not following their hearts at a younger age, perceived wrongs committed by them on their partners, children, etc. Society expects women to perform certain functions, or exhibit certain traits. Conflicts arise internally about not fulfilling some role society has deemed appropriate, or filling the role when one really did not want to. Other people could have told these women that they weren't worth much and they internalized the message."

What is some self esteem tips for elderly women?
"I think the first thing is to determine to forgive oneself for anything and everything. Oprah magazine had a good article on the process of forgiveness. The first thing is to allow oneself to grieve, the second to work on letting go of whatever has been held on to. The second thing I would suggest for elderly women is to look inside to determine what is yearned for in their hearts and each day take some concrete step towards that yearning. Many older women believe that they are too old to make a difference. That is far from true. They are the generation of wisdom. They are the voices that need to be heard. If they think to themselves, 'I don't have a story to tell' we will never have the opportunity to learn from them. Elderly women are the link between the generation before them and the next generation.

For women who need to talk to someone in their lives I might suggest an ethical will. This allows the person to speak from their hearts to the people in their lives and then allow those people to read their words.

A woman might also take the roles she had in life and reframe any of the ones that she perceived as negative. Example, all I did was stay home and care for the children, I did not have a career. This can shift to; I raised my children, the most important job on the planet. And it's true."

What type of professional help is available for elderly women that have a difficult time increasing their self esteem?
"Counselors of course are available. For people with some money, body work can be very therapeutic and healing. There are also elders groups that are active socially and in the community. Elders in Action for example. There are also groups who are naming themselves the wise generation you can search for on the web. For elders in minority cultures I might look through organizations dedicated to particular culture. I know the LGBT community in Portland has the Q center. Or the African American community has NAACP or the Urban League. I would recommend that elders actively work on not becoming isolated. That means working up the confidence to interact with society. It may feel hard or impossible but that is low self esteem talking. Keep working to connect with others. Especially youth, they need to be in contact with you."

Thank you Leah for doing the interview on self esteem tips for elderly women. For more information on Leah Schoen or her work you can check out her website on www.schoencounsel.com .

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