Self Harm and Why I Did It

Self harm - Is it attention Seeking? Well in my personal experience of this subject, no it is not. The reason why I say this is because personally speaking I used to self harm myself, and I never did it for people to see, I never told anyone that I did it, and even to this day my parents still dont know that I did it. I was a teenager when I first self-harmed myself, I was never really happy with myself, I always looked at other girls and wished I was as pretty as them or as thin as them. I hated going to school, I struggled with certain subjects at school, and never felt like I fitted in.

From that time when my teenager years began I suffered with depression. I felt lonley all the time, I felt like I had no life, that I would never be anybody. Years later it had got so bad, that I was taken to the Doctor by my boyfriend because all I was doing was crying, all the time and for no reason. It was so bizarre that I cant even remember it that well. I lost so much weight, and practically stopped eating, I began mumbling to myself, I was cold all the time, and then I would lock myself away in the bathroom, and get a razor and cut myself... then I would feel better. My boyfriend was the onlt person who knew what I had done to myself, and luckily for me he stood by me, and even when I was doing it and didnt tell him what I had done, he said nothing he just took care of me. I was never judged by him for what I had done, but I have read some articles that suggest that people who self harm, are only doing it to get the attention that they need in their lives. Well this is so wrong.

The reason why I did it was basically because I got very angry with myself, and felt so frustrated with myself, that everytime I cut myself it made the pain I felt inside, go away, and yet I had no pain on the outside where I was cutting myself, maybe if I had felt the pain of my skin being cut then I wouldn't have done it, but I didn't feel anything, other than relief of the fact that the anger, frustration and sadness that I was carrying around with me inside had completley gone. There are lots of people who self harm, who do it to make themselves feel better, not because they want attention. Self harm is serious and part of depression which is an illness.