Self-Help: Quit Lying to Yourself (QLTY)

We find ourselves in an age were everybody suffers from something. Whether it be depression, ADD, bulimia, anorexia, impoverishment or obesity; and, because of this people spend millions of dollars on therapy, medication, surgery, and other quick fix scams. However, a self-help solution that is being overlooked is the simple rule of Quit Lying to Yourself (QLTY). Now, anybody can suffer from this problem, and it can be debilitating, however, if diagnosed early, it can be easily cured.

Case Study #1

Gerald Jacks
Age: 50
Situation: (3 yrs Unemployed)
Problem: LTY

When I met Gerald, he had moved in with his friend, and her roommate in her two-bed house, making the occupancy three people. Gerald's initial plan was to look for a job, save up for three months, then depart to his own residency. However, because Gerald continued to lie to himself, his three months eventually became three years. In fact, once Gerald delusions became obvious to his friend, the repercussions of LTY created turmoil in the home. Using self-help techniques like QLTL, or just admitting you have a problem can provide a first step to positive changes.

The first document instance of Gerald's LTY began when the owner of the house started to belt out slurs and insults, such as, "You're a liar", "Ungrateful", "Lazy", and "Get out my house!" When Gerald was asked to explain why he was still jobless, he replied by saying, "the economy is bad and it's hard to find a job". The other roommate would advise Gerald to get up every morning before the owner of the house did, and leave. This would at least make it appear as though Gerald was trying to locate a job.

Instead of heading the advice, Gerald ignored him and continued down his path of destruction. He was so far down the path of the deception that he began to repeat his lie in various ways by insisting he was really looking for a job. He would say, "all I know is that I'm going online, I'm sending out a massive volumes of resumes, and I'm going to land me a lucrative job. And you know, after that I give myself three months to save up and I'm out of here!" This was Gerald's slogan for three years.

Another three months passed and another argument in the house ensued, this time pertaining to the increase in her bills; since Gerald's arrival to the house. The owner of the house gave threats to evict Gerald because he refused to work. When Gerald was questioned about his desire to get a job he replied by stating, "She's always trying to get on my case because I can't find a job. Now you know like I know that I've been putting out volumes of resumes online and the economy is bad, which validates why my ass doesn't have a job. Man all I know is that I'm going to update my resume and send them out online, and when I get employed again I'm giving myself three months, and I'm out of here."

Now lying to others, is a bad habit we all have done. However, lying to yourself is a sickness. What can you accomplish by lying to yourself? Absolutely nothing. This is why Gerald problems continued to persist.

Another three months passed.
"Don't use my phone at all, and don't use my internet", were the words radiating throughout the house. Once again, Gerald, a grown ass man, was being chewed out and scolded like a little child. After the argument, Gerald's only response was "I'm going to get a job and in three months move the hell out". This process kept repeating itself; however, we can clearly see that Gerald needs to Quit Lying To Himself.

Reason being, he knows the economy is not that bad to the point where McDonald's will not hire. He knows when he is on the internet he is doing more than just "looking for a job", and he knows that he really does not want to move out. So, why does he say those things to his friend, who was nice enough to give him free room and board? It's because he needs to Quit Lying To Himself, much in the same way we all need to Quit Lying To Ourselves.

Once Gerald was finally evicted, he miraculously found a job, not the high-tech job he desired, but something that allowed him to be self-sufficient. Gerald wasted three years of his life by Lying To Himself. Gerald's unemployment was not solely due to the bad economy, it was due to his lack of motivation and his loss of confidence after he was fired from his previous job. Being unemployed is not a death sentence, however, it is important for people to identify their real problems so they can start making concrete and tangible changes in order to achieve a better life. But if you Keep Lying to Yourself, instead of dealing with the real problem, you will never be able to fulfill your goals.

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