Self Improvement Requires Positive Thinking and Taking Positive Action

Self improvement is an often a New Years resolution that many people make only to find themselves halfway through the year without having given it much thought. The main reason is that though improvement of ourselves is a laudable goal, people either don't know how to go about starting to improve oneself, and most of the others feel that they have so many flaws or "rough spots" that they don't know where to start first. Both of these are methods of procrastination, most often engaged in by people who prefer to live in an alternate reality in which they are perfect and without flaw. Unfortunately the rest of the world cannot go to that special place with you. If you are one of the thousands of people who made the resolution a few months ago to improve yourself, and you haven't gotten started yet, "What are you waiting for, Christmas?"

It's all small stuff!

Have you ever heard the expression, "Don't sweat the small stuff, and it is all small stuff!"? Procrastination and failure to take a thorough inventory of just who we are warts and all, seem to be at the heart of people "forgetting" that our lives are a work in progress, on our journey, just like with a game, one must always be moving in their turn, advancing and retreating. It is impossible in a game just as it is in life to simply remain static, neither improving or minimizing your position within the game. When it comes to working on you toward improvement of yourself it is good to keep in mind to start with the small stuff, but keep in mind that it is all small stuff.

Many people suffer with issues of low self esteem. Though these are issues which have been developed in childhood and have been reinforced as time has passed, low self esteem is fixable and if you suffer with this issue it may be a good place to start in your quest for a better you. Ways in which one can work to improve ones self esteem include such activities as getting involved in ones community or charitable organizations, joining a group of some sort that centers around something that you enjoy or may be good at, positive affirmations, setting aside personal time for oneself, improving upon your physical appearance by starting a fitness regimen or by updating your look. There are many other self affirming activities that you can engage in, far too many to list all of them here. The point of self affirmation is to show and tell yourself that you are worthy, worthwhile, and that you deserve to treat yourself well.

With the busy lives that we lead, full of carpools, children, spouses, work, errands, and daily demands pulling us this way and that and always dictating your activities, there can be little time that one can block off as "me time". Luckily with such a busy schedule we have already learned to juggle things around to clear our calendars for a half hour or an hour. Unplug from the grind for a half hour to an hour. Give yourself a facial, or a pedicure and manicure, take a long hot bath while everyone is out of the house, do a quick workout, anything can constitute "me time" as long as you unplug yourself from the stress and worry of your day to day life every once in a while to do something positive and beneficial for or to yourself your self esteem will improve.

You can also take a "me time" minute in the mornings to give yourself a few positive affirmations. Look at yourself in the mirror and say positive and nurturing things to yourself. Rather than listing the things that you feel don't look right, or the features that you don't like in your mind, say positive things to yourself aloud. Positive affirmations can drown out that voice of negativity that lives inside our minds always waiting to belittle us which minimizes the positives, ignores the good qualities or features, and stands to remind you of all of the things that reduce your self confidence and feelings of self worth. Whenever you accomplish something of merit something good, take a moment to savor the feeling of accomplishment. Say something positive to yourself about it. Such as "Another tough job well done, (insert your own name here)." If you can't find something positive to say to yourself affirm and acknowledge the positives in those around you. Seriously, giving positive affirmations to family, spouses, co- workers, and even people that you may not care for but must come in contact with is a great way to improve your perspective. Being positive about the people around you and the things that they do, helps you to feel that you are in good company, that you are surrounded by good people, which conveys to the subconscious that if your surrounded by such good company, and you have a place within this group, then you must be equally as good. Seeing people brighten up if only for a moment under your praise, will also make you feel good and can make you feel better about the people around you, and thus more positive about the environment that you inhabit. Finding good things to say to and about people and situations can sometimes give us that mental shift from negative or neutral to positive.

Family first

Many of us are parents and spouses, and we find ourselves identifying ourselves by our connections to these people and losing sight of ourselves as individuals, the main characters of our life stories. We start to mentally cast ourselves in the supporting actor role of their lives, we become "so and so's mom", "his wife", "her husband", "the soccer dad", "the coach" etc. The wear and tear of living together in one household can often cause the joy that we entered into these relationships with, to lose the glow that they had in the beginning. Do you remember the rush of joy and love that you felt when you turned around to face your dearest friends and family to be introduced for the first time as "Mr. and Mrs._____"? Can you recall the moment when you first held each of your children and how that felt? Nurture that feeling, dust it off, polish it up to its original shine. Remind yourself that this is the life you wanted, it may not be the life that you planned for, but the family that you have made with joy and love, should always be your solid home base, the center of your world and life.

If you don't yet have a spouse or child, that is okay, you still have a family. Take the time to be a better daughter or son. If they live nearby go and spend some time with your parents. It doesn't have to be a special occasion, or for any special reason. If your parents are getting on in years and don't get around quite as well take then grocery shopping or do their marketing for them at the same time that you do yours. It won't take that much extra time and the extra care and attention is good for both your parent and yourself. Make a point of catching up with your siblings. If they live away from you make sure that you call, or write, or email them often. Send pictures of yourself and your kids. Rather than letting the ties that bind you and your family together weaken over time and distance do something to strengthen those familial ties. These are your roots, your family are the people who made you, not in just a genetic sense but in a nurturing and growing into an adult sense. Sometimes being a good child even as an adult, or a good sister or brother just makes you feel good. Even when you have nothing really to report call your family sometimes they just need a family member to listen to what is going on with them. Staying in touch with your roots and feeding the relationships with them will help your life to be more connected. When we feel alone and disconnected it is easy to lose sight of what this life is all about, and the reasons why we struggle to achieve and attain better things. Even if you cannot have a positive relationship with all the members of your family, try, be the bigger person, put the past disappointments, blame, and all of the negativity in a mental pot and put it on the back burner on a very low flame. If you truly cannot work with your family for whatever reason remember that your friends are the family that you get to choose. Nurture those bonds and relationships if nothing else.

Hopes dreams and goals

The final little things that I am going to suggest are as simple as the other things I have suggested here. Learn to keep hope alive. Rather than doing nothing and allowing life to push or pull you, keep your hopes and dreams alive by advancing them. Do something positive with the hope that it adds something to the positive energy of the universe. Planting a garden is an exercise in hope. If you plant flowers your work is an investment in the hope for beauty. If you plant a vegetable garden it is an investment in hope to nurture green and growing things that will in turn be harvested and used to feed yourself and your family. We can buy all of the groceries that we want but there is something special about feeding your family something that you grew with your own hands in your yard. Hope and dream with your spouse, your children, your friends and family. Talk to each other and try to see their dreams with them. Take something from those dreams as your own to work on and advance to remove any roadblocks in the path of these dreams, in this way you make your family and friends dreams a part of your own, and they can see this in the maintenance of your part of their dream that you see this for them too, and that your hope is entwined with theirs strengthening the hope and the vision of those hopes and dreams.

Set goals, not unattainable goals, and not necessarily grand goals. Start small and work your way towards the bigger things. Make sure that these goals are attainable. Help your friends and family to set "do-able" goals and help them to attain them. Them more practice that you get in short, mid, and long term goal setting the better off you will be. Having a goal gives us the feeling of knowing where we are going. We can then think our way toward our goal step by step, keeping the ultimate goal rather than the setbacks or challenges in sight, until we reach where we were trying to go. When you cross a goal off of your list, set your sites for a new goal in the distance, and then strike out towards it. By remaining in a constant state of mental and spiritual motion you keep yourself from getting bogged down by complacency. There is always something more to strive for. Don't get stuck and don't stop trying to achieve your dreams and to help those who you care about set and achieve their dreams. Self improvement is all about the journey not the destination, as life is. The only yardstick that matters is yours, and the only true power that we have as individuals is the power to change. There will be setbacks and disappointments, and there will be times when you must change your goals, or you realize that you have other goals, this happens along any road of life that you choose to travel. Just don't stop and don't quit on yourself. Cultivate and nurture a new and better you by being as positive and forward thinking as you can. Fill your hear and now with positive thoughts, and positive actions and more likely than not you will see positive changes coming to your life and good things happening for and to you.