Self-Esteem and the Life of the American Teen

So you are a teenager. Congratulations! You have officially made it to one of the most exciting and enlightening times of your life. You are branching out into new territory - meeting new people, creating new relationships, and developing new interests. As a former teenager, the best advice I can give you is that not many things in life are certain; however, I can promise you that throughout this fascinating time of your life, you will be challenged on many levels. As you face these challenges, remember that the decisions you make today will shape the person you become tomorrow. Whether your choices are right or wrong is irrelevant; the point is that you are writing your own story. This is your time to decide who you are and to become your own person. You may find this difficult, as you are likely to encounter pressure and resistance along the way. You will struggle with this, and you will wonder how to fight the battle you find raging inside your head. The solution you seek comes in the form of self-esteem.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is a combination of your impression of yourself and what you expect from yourself. As you travel through life, you will learn that self-esteem fluctuates. Self-esteem develops at an early age and depends upon feedback from family, friends, teachers, and elders. Compliments and praise from important people in your life contribute to healthy levels of self-esteem, while teasing, bullying, and personal failures contribute to feelings of self-loathing and low self-esteem. Because self-esteem tends to fluctuate, it is important to surround yourself with people who see the best in you and to develop interests and activities that you enjoy and are good at. Participating in an activity that you feel is worthwhile greatly contributes to feelings of personal accomplishment and self-confidence.

Why is self-esteem important?

Your level of self-esteem largely influences the decisions you make on a daily basis. As a teen, you are likely to experience peer-pressure from all directions. A high level of self-esteem gives you the confidence to make decisions based on what you feel and decreases your risk of making decisions based on someone else's opinion. Adversely, a lack of confidence greatly increases the tendency to follow the crowd and to discount your personal feelings and opinions.

Raising Your Self-Esteem

You are a unique individual. As you grow and change, you are apt to discover things about yourself and your body that you don't understand and may not like. You may gain weight. You may develop skin problems. You may wish your hair was straighter. You may wish you were more athletic. Regardless of the shortcomings you feel you have, you must remember that people perceive you based on how you perceive yourself. If you have positive feelings about yourself, your self-esteem will radiate to others, inspiring them to see you in a more positive light. If you can change the way you think about yourself, you can change the way others see you.

1. Surround yourself with positive people. Remember that negativity is contagious. If you surround yourself with negative people, their attitudes are likely to rub off on you and bring you down.
2. Avoid the body-image trap. People come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Never allow yourself to feel as though you must fit the cookie-cutter idea of what is beautiful or attractive. Realize that you are a unique individual and that different people are beautiful in different ways.
3. Set achievable goals. If you desire to make a change, start with something small and work your way up to the bigger issues. Your eye color, face shape, height, and skin color cannot be changed. If you feel as though you need to lose weight, set a goal of exercising 3 to 5 times a week. As you lose weight and meet your goals, you will feel a sense of accomplishment.
4. Reward yourself when you succeed.
5. Accept your faults and embrace your imperfections. Learn to recognize shortcomings and make a conscious effort to understand them. As you do this, be sure to pay yourself compliments rather than focusing on the negative.
6. Celebrate your small achievements and appreciate yourself. At the end of each day, identify one thing you like about yourself and one good thing you accomplished. Face your fears head on and challenge yourself. If you don't succeed the first time, dust yourself off and try again.
7. Be mindful of your environment and take time to acknowledge the things that make you happy throughout the day, no matter how small they may be. The beauty is all around you - the trick is learning to recognize it.