Sen. John Complain on Global Warming
Sen. Complain: Thank you Chris. If I may, I'd like to say a few words first.
Interviewer: Sorry Senator. We have a limited amount of time to discuss this important issue. Let's cut to the chase. Do you believe that Global Warming is a threat to our country?
Sen. Complain: Of course it is. It's a threat to the world. I am committed to stopping Global Warming. I have written a bill that I hope will pass stating that the threat of Global Warming is over.
Interviewer: Do you really believe that anyone in the Senate would vote for such a ludicrous bill?
Sen. Complain: Of course not. So I'll next propose that we study this issue to death.
Interviewer: What about our environment? Our shrinking glaciers? Droughts and floods? Do we really have time to study this issue over and over again?
Sen. Complain: Look, I know that it is a problem, but I have to look after my special interests.
Interviewer: And they are?
Sen. Complain: Big industry, big oil, big coal, and a whole lot of other big concerns. I can't be bothered by the upcoming disasters in the future.
Interviewer: But...
Sen. Complain: That's exactly right. People need to butt out. I'll be long gone before the worst of the disasters hits. Meanwhile, I need to be concerned about my reelection and my pension. So a few endangered species take a hit. So our climate warms up more. Hey, in a few generations we can all take a vacation at the North Pole. Think of the possibilities.
Interviewer: I can see that I'm going nowhere with this interview. Anway, thank you for giving us your impressions of Global Warming.
Senator Complain: Would you like to see my demonstration of clubbing a baby seal?
Interviewer: No.
Sen. Complain: How about my Dick Cheney impression of shooting at someone?
Interviewer: No thanks.
Sen. Complain: Or my Sarah Palin impression of shooting a moose from a plane? That always knocks them dead.
Interviewer: No, Senator. Enough! This is Chris Platitudes saying so long and see you next time on the Platitude Report.
Published by Steven West
I have a passion for creative writing and political discourse. Happily married for over 24 years, I have 2 children and work with special needs kids in the public schools. I enjoy making people laugh and sm... View profile
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6 Comments
Post a CommentI think I saw this on TV. ;)
LOL! Thanks for the smiles! :-)
Well put!
Hee!!
delightful.;)
This is FUNNY!!!