Senior Employment Opportunity

Seriously, little old ladies are amazing. I for instance can hide things so that no one can find them at least until right after they are no longer needed. I was going to write an article about building a music box. I had made several for family for Christmas fifteen years ago. I found the music mechanism in a catalog and bought a package that contained one more than I needed. It was easy to make, I just glued the mechanism into a box with a hole cut into it for the key to fit through; wrapped the box like a Christmas present; and made a copy of the poem that said not to open the package. We have put ours out at Christmas for years. I knew that the extra mechanism was in a particular dresser drawer in the spare room. Only it wasn't. It has now joined the ranks of things that I have hidden and we can no longer find. Some have been hidden for years. They will turn up eventually and we will be surprised that that was where they were. The only drawback to having a little old lady hide something is that you will need someone to remember where it is hidden.

I am also very good at finding hiding places for things I don't want family members to find. I know that they never look in with my baking supplies. I can hide a candy bar there and no one, but me will know it is there. Ooops, now I have told. But I still have one or two other spots. The key is to hide things where no one but you are going to look. Christmas and birthday presents can be easily hidden in plain sight right around areas where you might want someone to fix something. Or just underneath something that needs to be put away. Sometimes if it is something really big you can just leave it in the trunk of the car. No one looks there unless they have groceries to bring home or a flat tire.

I also know that people don't often really look at other people. I mean that they are so wound up into themselves that you can hide almost anything. I hid a pregnancy for five months before anyone noticed that I wasn't just putting on a little weight. You would be surprised what you can get away with. No one noticed the black eyes I had from falling into a door - honest I missed a step and fell right into the edge of a walnut door. The crease is still in my forehead. It was Christmas and I didn't have any time to stop, so I slapped some makeup over the darkening bruise and stayed in dim light.

Surveillance is also an area where a little old lady could excel. I could watch someone for hours without their even knowing I was there. They would just think I was some little old lady knitting. It would work unless I came to a complicated part in my knitting when my attention would stray from whomever I was supposed to be watching until the mistake was fixed. If I was noticed I could ask for help and since most people don't want to get sucked into other people's problems they would ignore me. Little old ladies are part of the landscape everywhere. Why would anyone notice them?

I know one little old lady who is very good at getting people to talk about things that they have no intention of ever mentioning. She is awesome in that department. I hardly say a word when I am with her for fear that she will get me started to talking and I will say something I shouldn't. There are two drawbacks to this particular woman: first she can't hear too well and screws things up that way; and second she can't remember. But I would put her up against any professional interrogator in a minute.

Another area that old ladies seem to be quite good at is inspecting things. Right up until their vision goes, they can look at things and easily tell you exactly what is wrong with them. They can spot mistakes so fast it will make your head swim. They can see mistakes where there are none and they look at everything, whether you want them too or not.

Anyhow if you are looking to have someone come and hide papers or packages, feel free to call a little old lady. Eventually you will find them in the very last place that you look. Old folks work cheap, since they already have Social Security for their bills. They might even work just for the amusement factor - yours, or theirs.