Senior Tips for Living with Your Adult Child

When a senior citizen finds it necessary to move in with his or her adult child, there is almost bound to be some conflict. Some seniors may need tips for living with their children simply because difficulties arise when an additional person shares existing space. Some seniors can benefit from tips for living with their adult children because they are unsure of their role and their place in the family . Some seniors really want tips for living with their adult children because frankly they are very much used to being alone and are unsure about how they will handle this new arrangement. Whatever the family history, whatever the individual idiosyncrasies, when seniors move in with their adult children a major life change is going on. These senior tips for living with your adult children can help make that change less upsetting for everyone involved.

Be grateful for your new living arrangement Sensitivity to others is the key to make any new living arrangement work. Perhaps the best senior tip for living with your adult child is to recognize what they are doing for you. They are willingly offering to fully alter their homes and really their lives to make a suitable living arrangement for you possible. Even if you hate the drapes, want your own bathroom, are uncertain of the neighborhood, the best thing you can do to make your new arrangement work is to realize how very lucky you are. You have people who care about you, a roof over your head, heat, food. These are all things that are basics but they are things that many Americans lack. Visualizing your own personal cup of good fortune as being half full rather than half empty will put you in the right mood to work out whatever other minor problems arise. Letting your child and his or her spouse in on your positive attitude will give them a good feeling about the value of the sacrifices that they will definitely have to make.

Accentuate the Positive There's a great tune many seniors know that includes the line "Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..." This is a very helpful senior tip for living with your adult child. There are certainly going to be plenty of things you won't like about your new living arrangement. But hold on, there were also plenty of things that you didn't particularly care for in your previous living arrangement. Instead of heading down a negative path that will take you directly to complaints and possible confrontation, put on the brakes. Try to eliminate the negatives from your mind and think about the good things that surround you in your new situation.

Probably you have your own room, maybe your own television or even bathroom. Perhaps the meals are much better than when you were cooking for yourself. There's life going on around you and something to stir your interest and curiosity. You'll find your attitude toward living with your adult child will improve when you accentuate the best things about your new living arrangement. Your positive mood is likely to be quite easily transfered to those around you.

Have a Clear Financial Arrangement Money matters always have the potential to cause difficulty even among family members. It is an important senior tip to make certain that you and your adult child are very clear about the financial arrangements connected to your moving in. Will you pay rent? Are you responsible for food? What about simple day to day expenses? A good senior tip for living with your adult child is for the two of you to have a serious sit down discussion of your own list of financial questions. Getting a clear understanding about how your money will be handled up front will mean less problems and anxiety down the road.

Helping Out Seniors, for the most part , like to help out. Busy families can often use all the help they can get. There should be a way to put the willingness of senior citizens and the needs of the family with which they are living together to the benefit of both. Unfortunately this process too often breaks down leaving hurt feelings on both sides. One way to avoid this problem is for seniors to make a short list of household chores they could realistically take on. Adult children might also make up a list of chores that they would be happy to hand over. Where the lists overlap is a good place for seniors to begin to become involved in household chores. And don't forget there really are things that almost every senior can do. There is always laundry to sort and fold, there are vegetables to be peeled, pets to be walked and messages to be taken. The important thing in keeping the peace is the coordination of what seniors want to do and what their adult children are willing to let them do. Working out an agreement will work to the benefit of both parent and adult child.

Keep it Neat A very basic senior tip for living with your adult child is to be as neat as you can about your person and your belongings. Don't add to the chores that must be done by being untidy yourself. Know where your living space is and confine any disorder you may have to that area.

Discuss Food Issues Do you have dietary limitations, things you really like, things you wouldn't eat on a bet.? Letting whoever does the cooking know of these issues right away can head off disappointment at the dinner table all the way around.

You will likely catch on to the meal schedule rather quickly, but you need to know what meals you will be sharing together and what meals, if any, you are expected to prepare for yourself. You can avoid conflict if you accept that the meal schedule in every house hold is different . Some people adhere to a regular dinner hour but many eat at a different time every night. The best thing you can do is observe and be flexible.

Know the Importance of the Bathroom One place where harmony between seniors and their adult children can break down quickly is over the use of the bathroom. You can do your part to reduce the likelihood of collisions by planning your own use of the bathroom around the rest of the families needs. While this is not always possible, if everyone knows you are trying to be thoughtful, they are likely to respond in kind.

Don't crowd what may be an already chock full bathroom cabinet with your own collection of toiletries. If possible store your things in a portable case that you can keep in your room and out of the way.

Mark the Calendar if your adult child is taking responsibility for taking you to appointments and shopping, check with him or her before setting any dates or making any firm plans. Then make certain that your arrangements are written clearly on the family calendar or other agreed upon location.The best way to show your gratitude for the rides you receive is to make sure they don't interfere with the ongoing family schedule.

Television For many seniors television is the center of their entertainment world. A good senior tip for living with adult children is, if at all possible get your own small television and keep it in your room where you can watch what you want when you want to. It's amazing how much resentment can build up over missed television programs or channel switching. All of that can be avoided if seniors have a place to which they can retire and enjoy the comfort of their own television.

The Grandchildren One of the greatest joys for seniors living with adult children is that the arrangement may also mean living with grandchildren. Having the opportunity to see your grandchildren every day can be wonderful blessing but it can also introduce an area of conflict. A good senior tip for living with our adult children is to remember that you are really no longer in charge of anyone or fully responsible for anyone besides yourself. Your own children are adults and should manage there own affairs. If there are grandchildren present, seniors need to love them but discipline them only when asked to do so by their parents.

It is often very difficult for grandparents to hold back and wait for their own children to step up and control the grand kids but doing so allows parents to do the parenting without sending mixed signals to the children. Your own children will thank you for the respect you show by letting them discipline their children as they see fit. The time may come when they will ask for your advice and you will be able to give it freely. But until asked the best way to avoid friction is to know your role.

For seniors the idea of living with their adult child may be very disorienting. All of a sudden the world seems rather upside down. But following these senior tips for living with your adult child can help seniors find their way. They will very quickly see that living with adult children can really work . All you need to do is use a little common sense and give your children the courtesy and consideration you always taught them to give to others.