"Sensible" Ways to Relieve Stress at Work

Admit it. Every job has its stressors: crazy clients that won't listen to reason, stupid customers that don't understand the meaning of "15 items or less,"
and those horrible bosses that get a little ticked if you don't show up every day you're supposed to. In the name of preserving workplace sanity for people all over the world, I've come up with these tips to help you get rid of the stress and get on with your day.

Bang your head against a blunt object. This works for several reasons. First of all, especially if you scream while you're doing it, no one will bother you
for at least a little bit of time as they'll fear for their own safety. Secondly, if you do a good job, you might knock yourself unconscious. Then you will have
to leave work to go to the hospital. Hello, worker's comp!

Drink. Not only will consuming copious amounts of alcohol make you forget all about your on-the-job stress, it will also most likely get you fired. Then
you're problem is solved. You don't have to come back to that terrible job anymore. Make sure after they fire you they give you a ride home, of course.

Vent endlessly to that always-friendly coworker. Since you'll be engaged in conversation, customers and others may briefly quit nagging at you. It might be to
contact management or security, but at least it will give you some time to de-stress. And your unsuspecting victim will have the same crappy day that you're
having after having to hear you constantly complain. Misery loves company after all.

Sing loudly and unceasingly. Artistic expression has often been found to relieve stress. If anyone asks you why you can't stop singing, simply tell them that a
witch put a curse on you. Bonus if this grants you a long vacation after being taken away by the nice men in the white coats.

Sleep. What could be a less stressful activity than sleeping? Curl up under your desk, or on the counter, or in your manager's office and catch a few. If anyone
hassles you, tell him that everyone knows well rested employees are more productive. So there.

Go for a walk during your break. Once your break ends, keep walking. Don't stop until you get somewhere interesting. Maybe you can apply for a job there.

Make a list of ways to relieve stress. Hey, it seems to be working for me . . .