Separation Anxiety and Your Child

Separation Anxiety is a natural part of a child's development. It is the realization that when you disappear..go out of view that you aren't there. If you leave the room and they cannot see you its the same thing...for they feel that you have disappeared. Most children experience this at about one year of age however, these same symptoms can show up between eighteen months and two and a half years. Here are some steps that may help you calm your child and help them emotionally mature out of this stage.

Do not give in to the crying of your baby. Do not cuddle and stroke them at the time of the separation. Instead cuddle and stroke them when you return telling them of your love and your faithfulness to return to them. Be excited to see them. Be excited to ask about their day and to chit chat happily with the care taker about their day. Even if they are young tell them about your day and where you were at while you are out.

Be cheerful about leaving them. Some children are feeding off of the parent's anxiety about leaving them. If you are uncertain about your caretakers loving care for your child then find another that you can be confident about. In the mean time speak positively about the caretaker and behave in trust toward the caretaker.

Set a routine for leaving your child. Follow the same routine daily. If the routine is dropping the child off at the door to the caretaker then follow that pattern daily. Do not go inside just because the child fusses about being left. If your routine is to go in and take the child's coat off and settle the child then follow that routine daily but do not prolong leaving or return due to the fussing.

Ask the caretaker what they do to sooth the child. The best way for them to handle the situation is to distract the child. Trying to comfort the baby may just cause the behavior to be reinforced. The best way to handle it is to distract the child with another activity that is enjoyable such as story time or breakfast time. Let it be a routine distraction. The child will calm down quicker each day as the emotional outburst is handled confidently and without emotional outbursts from the parent or caretaker.

This is just a phase. It to shall pass. However, if you notice that there are nightmares taking place or if the child is old enough to be talking about fears and concerns that seem extreme then see your doctor for more advice. Sometimes it is beyond a developmental stage it has to do with life's circumstances such as a new baby, or a divorce or separation between parents, or the death of a caretaker. These basic steps should help the child walk through this emotional path easily and smoothly bringing him or her into emotional stability each time that you leave. The fact that you return each time you drop your child off is developing a comfort and a emotional stability in your child.