Separation Anxiety - What to Do Now

Does frantic behavior occur primarily when dog is left alone?
Does anxiety begin soon after leaving?

Does your0 dog follow you from room to room? This behavior in and of itself doesn't mean the dog has separation anxiety. It means the dog could have a propensity toward getting separation anxiety. When the owner gets up, the dog gets up. The dog follows to the bathroom and everywhere. This means the dog is anxious about the removal of its owner and it needs to stay close.

Is there attention seeking behavior at the door every time owner enters. This is called frantic greeting behavior. The more frantic a dog is to see owner upon arrival the worse separation anxiety can get. For this reason, it is important not to make a big fuss over dogs when entering from behind a barrier, meaning a closed door.

Dogs watch everything we do. Since they don't understand our language, they try to read our body language. They are keen to deciphering patterns created in their environment. The patterns created before leaving to go reflect negatively on a dog with separation anxiety challenges. If the dog becomes excited, depressed or anxious to patterns indicating owner is leaving, it follows nervousness increases long before the actual separation occurs. The nervousness and anxiety has to come out somehow as it builds up emotionally and it usually surfaces through destruction of property or anything in the dog's way.

Does the dog defecate or pee when left alone?
Do they destroy anything left out, scratch at doors, jump up and tear down curtains, blinds or other objects?

Understanding the causes of separation anxiety leads to the cure. A dog accustomed to constant human companionship is suddenly left alone for the first time. The owner has to go to work, or do an errand and the dog has never been properly conditioned to being alone.

Another cause is the dog suffers a traumatic event (from dog's viewpoint) such as time at a shelter or boarding kennel, and even a daycare can create sensitivities to being separated from owner.

If there's a change in the family's routine or structure or the loss of a family member or other pet, or even a move to a new location, separation anxiety can brew.

What to do now.

Seeing a lot of separation anxiety cases in my work, my technique is called R&R, meaning respect/relax/respond. The first critical part of working with a dog is don't make a big deal out of arrivals and departures.

Upon arriving home play the "invisible dog" game. Invisible dog means simply smile, acknowledge dog upon entering, possibly ask for a sit and treat and then walk into the house and go about chores. At this stage no matter what the dog does attention is not given. What is waited for is the dog calms and relaxes on their own.

The relaxation portion of the process means watching for it and timing it. Two to three, even five minutes is appropriate for the dog to become relaxed. Timing depends on how bad the behavior has become. More time for worse behaviors. If the dog gets up, start over in timing. Relaxed posture is close to sleeping and is not watching as owner goes about chores. A dog might grab a bone or toy and blissfully chew or relax on one hip and blink eyes sleepily or even lay down all the way and fall asleep. Patience in waiting is key to change.

The lesson is teaching the dog to calm themselves, to relax without any prompting from the owner. This lesson goes a long way in preventing separation anxiety and diminishing attention seeking behaviors.

The critical part of this process of R&R is when time requirement is met that the dog is then called over and the attention craved is given on the owner's terms. This is a time for praise, treats, play, even a walk. It teaches the dog impulse control and to wait not to create constant attention scenes.

This technique ultimately makes comings and goings no big deal. Whatever happens after this process and until there is another barrier between the dog and owner is communication. Interacting with your dog and dog interacting with owner is okay and in fact, wanted and needed. Listening to the dog is as important as the dog listening to the owner.

The lesson is that owners can come and go as they please and this means the dog is not always going to be able to go along. It teaches the dog acceptance, confidence and how to be alone.

Other techniques to use now are to leave dog with an article of clothing that smells like family members, such as an old t-shirt.

When dogs board with me in my home, I require an article of clothing from each family member used to comfort the dog. This is put in a crate or x-pen (short for exercise pen) or in a room on their bed. Soon the dog understands the meaning and if comfort is needed or owner missed they can head to their safe zone where the smells of owner are near. It gives them confidence to face real life and being left alone. Soon they no longer need this security blanket and become more confident.

Begin to establish a safety cue now. This is a word or action used each time owner leaves that tells dog they'll

be right back. The word I use IS right back with all animals in the household. I use this not only as I leave, but when I return. The parrots catch on quickly and repeat the word when I leave and return as a question. Saying the same cue upon return establishes the meaning of the word. Right back comes to mean return. The cue is said in an upbeat voice and with my dog most prone to separation anxiety, I set up a find it game and use it as an added cue. Then I leave without any further ado. One day peeking in without notice the dogs were busily finding things left and didn't even know I peeked in on them. This makes the heart sing. Everyone feels better.

For extreme separation anxiety, what can be done now might have to involve using an over-the-counter calming product that may reduce anxiety in dogs or speaking with the veterinarian on a medication protocol. One over-the-counter product is Pro Quiet given one hour prior to leaving using natural herbal calming ingredients. Pro Quiet can also be used in conjunction with other medication, however make sure the veterinarian is advised should this route be chosen. The use of Rescue Remedy for Dogs and a product called a Thundershirt can help the dog to relax and feel comfortable in the environment and their own skin.

There are separation anxiety games to play and should be taught prior to leaving so the game doesn't come to mean the owner is leaving, but rather the owner will be back and the dog learns to entertain itself.

Play the find it game long BEFORE you leave until if becomes fun and the dog looks forward to finding treats beneath cups, cloth or hidden behind plants or in game toys scattered throughout the house. Then set up find it obstacle course and as you walk out the door say "Find It!" in a happy voice and point. If the dog is ready to stay alone in the home, this activity will redirect attention toward a fun activity and away from you leaving. Soon you'll be back and the games, like a t-shirt with owner's scent on it, comes to mean owner is near, will be back and is comforting activity that not only mentally stimulates the dog, but tires them out.

There are so many wonderful foraging toys to keep a dog busy beyond the Kong. The Kong is a rubber-based toy filled with food and can be frozen and has typically been the toy of choice to keep dogs busy. Today there are more mentally stimulating activities and Kong has jumped on board with the new Kong Wobbler. Other foraging toys can be found at the clicker training puzzle toys web site by Karen Pryor.

Teaching a dog to calm through Tellington Touch or Karen Overall's massage therapy techniques helps tremendously. Some dogs just do not know what it feels like to relax. Calming techniques done twice a day and adding a body wrap, calming band or thundershirt while present teaches dog to self-relax in an almost zen-like process changing brain patterns and increasing seratonin needed in the body to calm naturally.

If the dog has severe separation anxiety, the best rule of thumb is to hire a behavior trainer, behaviorist or veterinarian behaviorist to help work through the issue. Techniques to do now as stated above plus desensitization training will be needed. That said, begin to implement the following immediately and continue for the life of the dog.

Teach impulse control techniques and relaxation postures (sit and down) teaches the dog they can remain calm while owner is out of sight. Make this training a game where you always return.

Create a safe place. The reason is to limit destructive behavior and to provide a space the dog calls its own. Sometimes having too much space causes more anxiety then a smaller space clearly defined as a dog's own. It should contain various toys to distract anxiety. Strategic placement of rescue remedy on bedding, carpet, in crate and on dog can provide a calming scent allowing the dog to relax more readily.

A severely anxious dog may need medication to put them in a state of learning. Medication can be cut back and out later as behavior modification takes hold. The result of the medication should be calming and not sedation.

Some dogs might do well to take them to a doggy day care facility. However, I have seen these tactics backfire because the dog is not incrementally desensitized to the facility, the people in the facility, even the dogs. Any good daycare manager or owner will work with the dog and owner so there is a seamless integration and the dog feels comfortable. A good behavior trainer can help tremendously in this transition process.

Other options are to leave dog with a trusted, respected person or family member. Still most dogs with severe anxiety may not leave the door until the one they are bonded to returns. They might pace, look out the window and not be able to calm down. This can be frustrating to friends and family members and seen as a sign they aren't liked by the dog. Again, desensitizing the dog slowly, leaving for short periods of time, even ten minutes at first and showing the dog owner will always return will go far.

If possible, consider taking dog to work. Some places allow dogs in the workplace. The learning will be socializing with people and other dogs. Building confidence is important to a dog with anxieties making them able to deal with real life. Again, this is not the solution for all dogs with separation anxiety and the steps teaching them to like being alone are important.

An important step I do with all dogs in my household are the requirement of one hour alone time whether I am in the house or not. This incremental process teaches the do to love their safe zone, to relax, to have a toy or foraging activity and to refresh without distraction from a busy, hectic human lifestyle.

There are techniques that will not help the dog and in fact, make separation anxiety worsen.

Punishment should not be implemented in any way whether through irritibility and yelling, frustration and loud words or rough handing. All these things increase anxiety, they do not build confidence and trust. Anxiety increases because the dog doesn't know how the owner will react coming through the door and doesn't understand why.

Getting another dog will not solve separation anxiety. If you get another dog, wait until the anxiety has been addressed. The new dog might learn anxiety or worse be a target of the current dogs separation anxiety issues. All dogs should be trained in the beginning to enjoy being alone and so the work involved will just double should another dog come into the household. Another dog could also increase current dog's anxiety because another change has been made without addressing the behavior in the first place.

Crating some dogs can make behavior worse. However, confinement is something a dog should learn from the beginning and can be not only life saving, but necessary in some instances. A dog needs to learn to use a crate and see it as a great place to spend time. Change the name of the crate and refer to it as a cottage, a home, and the way a crate is seen changes not only for dog but for the owner.

Radio or TV noise are considered a neutral stimulus, something dog doesn't now equate with anything, until they are trained to become a conditioned stimulus and used as a safety cue. So just turning on the radio or TV in and of itself solves nothing. Cues can be verbal, or not. A cue could be picking up the car keys and a positive cue can be providing music for dogs, or audio biotechnology in the form of a CD titled Through A Dog's Ear. These have been proven to calm dogs. Something to be careful of is that the radio, TV or CD does not come to mean you are leaving. It means relaxation time and should be played when you are home. Depending on what is playing, what is on TV can be an anxiety creator rather than a relaxer, if it comes to cue leaving just as picking up the keys or putting on a jacket.

Obedience training masks behavior, but does not change it. People jump right to skills training with their dogs without realizing there are a lot of pieces missing in the dog's overall training. Obedience creates an obedient dog and helps while working with behavior modification. It does not replace behavior modification and vice versa. Each used in conjunction with each other can be a great way to change and influence behavior, but in and of themselves might not present the whole treatment or picture.

Coating objects the dog might destroy with hot sauce or spraying a product called bitter apple around is a form of punishment. Dogs learn by association and consequence and if the association to an owner leaving is the consequence of pain from hot sauce or even bitter apple, it can increase anxiety. It doesn't teach the dog anything, it just makes the thing it is applied to taste bad for now. Separation anxiety could increase as a result. The concept of being alone should be fun would not be instilled using these products. There is no quick fix for curing separation anxiety.

Finally, some last tips on what to do now should the dog have separation anxiety challenges.

Exercise dog before leaving house. This means tongue hanging out exhausting exercise, either a 30-minute run or a one or two hour walk on lead. This calms dogs giving them a sense of blissful exhaustion.

Focus on dog's perception of being separated to get perspective on why the dog might be anxious when family is away. Thinking like a human, getting frustrated because the dog is not the one of their dreams or punishing the dog for doing something wrong does not solve the problem of separation anxiety. Thinking like the dog thinks and adjusting the environment, habits, and teaching means the dog can learn to love being alone.

Environment creation is as important for the dog as it would be for a new baby in the house. Provide the best mentally stimulating toys, chewies, puzzle balls, foraging activities. Rub hands on them so they smell like you.

Make the environment soft, calm, relaxing by dimming lights (not darkness) and keeping rooms at a comfortable temperature, which would vary depending on the whether the dog has a long or short coat.

Begin to decrease the attentionon given to the dog long before you leave the house. I call this not making a big deal out of leaving. Become very boring. The action and fun is in the staying alone and having special activities to do. A dog may come to look forward to being alone and seeing the owner leave.

Acclimate in short incremental stages to staying alone so dog knows you will always return. The magic number is ten minutes of alone time without any adverse reaction. Then increase in half hour increments. Timing music to come on and turn off and the same with the TV eliminate cues they are always turned on when you leave or signal when you return.

In summary, remember, when returning home don't make a big deal about it. Be happy, be nonchalant, say hi, ask for a sit and treat and then get busy with chores, reading mail, fixing dinner as you play the invisible dog game. There are may steps to do now with the ultimate goal the dog will enjoy staying alone and understand leaving equals returning, which equates to taking away anxiety and leaving a dog with increased confidence.