Setting Up Family Routines

Below are few examples of how some families can set up routines. Be realistic - routines may not work perfectly at first. Children who are used to behaving in certain ways need time before they believe their parents mean what they say. Remember, it is human nature to resist change, even when we want it or know it is good for us. When we understand this, we can keep following the planned routine until the resistance ends.

House Cleaning

Pick a time each week to clean the house together. Each family member can choose one or two rooms to clean or one or two activities, such as dusting, vacuuming, or cleaning sinks. If everyone works together, you'll be amazed at how little time it takes to clean the house.

Meal Planning and Preparation

List the jobs - perhaps one person cooks, another assists, another sets the table, and another cleans up. During a family meeting, each person chooses at least one night for each of the jobs. Make a meal chart where the cook lists what he or she wants to prepare for each meal. Use this chart to make a grocery list to make sure the needed ingredients are purchased.

Grocery Shopping

Use the grocery list you prepared together. Before leaving for the store, let each member choose from the master list the items they want to find. Go to the store and let each person find the items on their lists. Meet at the checkout counter. When you return home, carry in the items and put them away together.

Laundry

All family members have a laundry basket in their room and their own day of the week for doing laundry. Teach all children six years of age and older how t run the washer and dryer. Let older children help younger children carry clothes back to their rooms and put them away. Stay out of your children's drawers - if they choose to stuff their clothes in without folding, that is their choice. Give yourself a break and stop doing for children what they can do for themselves.

Brushing Teeth

When children are young, they need your help to brush their teeth. Do it with them and help them floss. As they get older, add tooth brushing to the list of activities they do before school and before bed. Some families establish a routine of everyone brushing together just before bedtime.

Once in place, a routine may work automatically for years. With younger children, the earlier you start, the more they think a routine is just the way things are. Routines help eliminate power struggles and give all family members ways to belong and contribute to the family.

The long term benefits of routines are security, a calmer atmosphere, trust, and life skills for children. Children learn to focus on doing what needs to be done. They learn to be responsible for their own behavior, to take pride in being capable, and to cooperate in the family.