Seven Mistakes Parents of New College Students Make

Whether they would like to admit it or not, parents of new college freshmen aren't infallible. Adjusting to having an empty nest or even a slightly-less-full nest can be difficult. There are no hard and fast rules for how parents should interact with their new college students. In this article, I intend to describe seven of the mistakes that parents of new college students make so that you can avoid them.

College Parenting Mistake #1 - Overparenting

If you're the parent of a new college student, you need to acknowledge that your son or daughter is an adult and needs to learn how to be independent in the "real world." You need to get away from treating your son or daughter like a child and embrace the fact that your college student can take care of himself or herself. An example of this would be sending care packages on a weekly basis or providing your son or daughter with unlimited funds for amusement. If you have already developed a more mature relationship with your new college student, congratulations. You're starting out on a better note than many parents of new college freshmen do.

College Parenting Mistake #2 - Communicating Too Much

College students are busy. Many have heavy course loads, work, and volunteer. In addition to this, it is important that new college freshmen have time to socialize and make connections with other people. Don't expect that your college student will want to talk to you every night for an hour or more, even if he or she is homesick for the first few weeks or months of school. For the most part, let your college student determine how frequently you talk. You can be a little more verbose in emails, because they don't take very long to read, but don't make your college student feel as if a long response is mandatory.

College Parenting Mistake #3 - Communicating Too Little

The flip side of the last mistake is that you shouldn't communicate too infrequently. College can be stressful and it can help new college freshmen a lot to know that they have family supporting them. I wish that I had called my parents more during my freshman year of college. Make sure to discuss with your college student how frequently you would like to talk and see if what you decide on works. Two short conversations per week or one longer one should be reasonable enough for everyone.

College Parenting Mistake #4 - Not Accepting Change

Most new college students don't plan or anticipate to change when they go to school. However, many do. Some gain weight, some find or lose religion, and some change their career and life goals entirely. In my freshman year, I developed some feminist views (yes, men can be feminists too.). Provided that these changes are not unhealthy (read: severe drug/alcohol abuse, unhealthy relationships, or cult participation), try to embrace them and show your college student that you love him or her unconditionally. If you can, show interest in your college student's new interests. If not, don't be negative.

College Parenting Mistake #5 - Demanding Too Much

College coursework is difficult. As the parent of a new college student, you should try to remember that and remember that it is difficult to get a 4.0 GPA every semester. Accept that there will be some semesters where three-point-whatevers happen, and remember that a less-than-perfect GPA won't doom your college student to failure. If your new college student is struggling, provide support and talk to him or her about switching to an easier or more interesting course of study.

College Parenting Mistake #6 - Creating a Replica of Yourself

Many parents of new college students make the mistake of trying to force their children to follow the same educational and career path as they themselves did. You need to let your college student determine his or her interests and what is important to him or her. It is more important for your college student to be happy in the long term than it is for him or her to follow in your footsteps or make a ton of money.

College Parenting Mistake #7 - Funding a Lost Cause

Although it is difficult, you have to be able to drop the figurative hammer on your new college student if necessary. If, for no discernible reason, your new college student earns substandard grades or fails courses, you need to be able to withdraw monetary support for his or her education. This would be difficult to do, but there is no point in paying tens of thousands of dollars every year if your college student is not taking his or her education seriously.

Being the parent of a new college student is not always easy. Parenting a college student requires thought, trust, and balance. Avoiding the above mistakes should ease the transition for both you and your new college student. If you have any suggestions on being the parent of a college student, feel free to share your thoughts in the form of a comment. Thank you for reading!