Seven Popular Misconceptions About Groupies and Mistresses

The media is over saturated with seedy tales of infidelity. Though the circumstances for many of them are different, some common threads do exist. It is very easy to pigeonhole the Mistress into one or two specific categories. The Other Woman is always considered a home wrecker - a woman with no morals. Humiliation and disgust make it really easy to categorize these women. We all know that it takes two to tango. But the victims of these love crimes don't really want to hear that. Getting to the bottom of these infamous celebrity scandals isn't always possible. So, until or unless all the relative details have been divulged, people will feel free to subscribe to popular myths about The Other Woman.

They're stupid.

For years we've watched half-naked women slithering around rap music videos. We've seen photographs of the ladies showcasing their dalliances with married celebrities. These women often have little to say (not that anyone cared.) But years later, something interesting happened. They started writing books and doing news interviews. Up to this point, it has been very easy to assume that these all these women were airheads, especially with their sexuality on full display. But the truth is that a good number of women dubbed "playthings" by outsiders are not unintelligent women. Many are college graduates. It may seem inconceivable that men would pay more attention to a woman's brain than her hot bod. But the number of male celebrities who prefer trysts only with sexy and smart women would surprise you.

They have no jobs.

There is also a misconception about the lives that these women have outside of their highly publicized escapades. The belief that these ladies are high school dropouts (or some similar equivalent) is a notion that is quickly fading into obscurity. Without a doubt, you will find that a good number of them are career women. Some are merely attracted to the excitement of the entertainment world. Some of them enjoy the perks and social benefits of being attached in some way to high profile male celebrities. The lifestyle is indeed quite intoxicating. The notion that groupies and other "socialites" integrate themselves into the lifestyle just to feed their families--is fast becoming the stuff urban legends are made of.

They are all gold-diggers.

To that effect, there is also a misconception that all the women involved (legitimately or not) with rappers, ballers, and players are gold-diggers. It should be duly noted that the trinkets and benefits associated with being in certain social circles is something many women crave. But if you were to interview a few ladies who have had extended "casual" relationships with these men, you might discover that a good number of them are already established-enjoying some of the finer things in life on their own. Furthermore, you might also realize that some of these "successful" women prefer to socialize with men they feel can match them on multiple levels. Does the textbook Gold Digger still exist? Of course. But the Gold Digger image stamped all over the media tends to mute the voices of women who actually make their own impressive salaries.

They are more attractive.

When people think of mistresses, they think of strippers, models, and other exotic creatures. Based on stories that we see in the media, we assume that The Other Woman is vivacious and sexy -- but more importantly, much more beautiful than the woman who's been left at home. This isn't always the case. Looks certainly play a part in the development of extramarital affairs; but in many cases, beauty is not the deciding factor.

They all sleep around.

When the ladies who hang out with rap stars and athletes say that they don't always have sex, this is probably true more times than you might imagine. There are most definitely instances when sex is not involved. Contrary to popular belief, some celebs are content merely to have female company. Sex isn't always part of the "arrangement." In some cases, they may have female acquaintances they've known for a long time-women they have developed friendships with. All of the women who have affairs with these players are not considered "playthings." Just because one celebrity has gotten cozy with a particular woman, doesn't mean all of his celebrity friends have too.

They all want to be famous.

Sure, it's easy to believe that the mistresses and groupies are all looking for their Hollywood "come-uppance." But there are a good number of women whom you'll never hear about. These are the ultra discreet women-the ones who are capable of holding down a secret relationship without the press ever catching wind. This is why you'll hear about affairs that have been taking place for many years-faraway from the bright spotlights of Hollywood. Some of these women are happy just having the knowledge that they're sleeping with someone famous. They don't necessarily want all the scrutiny that comes along with being named the mistress of Celebrity Such-and-Such.

They are "blank slates."

Because of the way women have been objectified in the media, it is assumed that all the pretty ladies parading across the screen are opportunists, waiting for their chance to pounce. That a woman could actually like or grow to love these popular male celebrities seems like an oxymoron to some extent. We automatically assume that all these women see is the money and the fame. And while these two benefits of the celebrity lifestyle are definitely sought after, there is often an attraction that goes beyond superficial things. We assume that these women have no sense of humor or any attractive personality traits for that matter. This makes it hard for the public to believe that genuine feelings could develop under such circumstances.

SOURCES:

www.mediatakeout.com
www.psychologytoday.com
www.essence.com
www.ivillage.com