Seven Sure Ways to Tick Off Your Secretary

You can daily irritate your secretary or assistant without getting in trouble for any kind of harassment. There are many efficient ways to do that; as someone who has worked in the administrative field for several years, I can easily list seven, off the top of my head. They come both from observation and personal experience.

1. Transfer all your phone calls to her, whether you are busy or not. Better yet, have other employees transfer their calls to her as well, making her work as a receptionist for the whole department, and then wonder why it is taking her so long to complete that presentation.

2. When you travel, change your itinerary as many times as possible. Have her cancel and re-book your airline tickets, hotel, transportation, then change your plans again. Last minute changes are especially effective. Make sure she knows they could have been easily avoided with better planning.

3. Be forgetful and blame her for it. Miss a meeting and then chew her out for only reminding you once instead of four times. Leave for a trip without papers you need and then call and yell at her for not putting those papers into your hands.

4. Lose receipts and then ask her to somehow complete your expense report.

5. Give her a big, time consuming assignment that requires concentration and keep distracting her with little things that must be done NOW. Then of course be displeased with her for her slow progress on the big one. (To be on the safe side, mention Multitasking as one of the requirements when hiring her, then she won't be able to complain.)

6. Make her run your personal errands. Have her deal with your dry cleaning, car repairs, vacation plans, make her go buy gifts for your family (and then criticize her choice of gifts). If you have kids, have her at least occasionally pick them up from school or other numerous activities.

7. Try to steal as much of her personal time as you can. Give her something small to do one minute before closing time, so that she cannot leave when she is supposed to but cannot really file for overtime, either. Call her on weekends and holidays with work-related questions. Treat her as if she has no life outside the office.

CAUTION: Overdoing may result in your secretary quitting her job. Your life may be endangered as well when dealing with less stable personalities.