Seven Un-Mistakes Christian Women Make in a Marriage

Marriage is a lot of work. If he is worth saying "I do" to, he should also be worth working with to make the marriage last. There are some things that can keep the fun, stability, love and romance in the relationship for years to come.

Learn his love language: There are certain things you can do to your man that will make him go goo-goo ga-ga. There are certain things you can do that will make you go goo-goo ga-ga, but will make him yawn. What is it that touches him deep within? According to Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages (see the link below), your spouse will respond most generously to one of the following: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service or physical touch. If he wants to spend more time with you and you're always gone, no sense in giving him expensive gifts thinking he'll be happy. Observe him, read Dr. Chapman's book, and decide which of these love languages describe him. Then get to work speaking his love language.

Honor your wedding vows: The wedding is over. The honeymoon is over. Life, with all its roller coaster nuances sets in for the couple who made verbal covenant with each other before God, the judge or preacher, and some other people. Do you even remember what you said? About.com has four traditional wedding vow samples. One of them includes you taking your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. Are you still loving and cherishing? Are you doing your part when times are bad, when your pockets are empty, when he's sick and needs you to take care of him? Did the wedding ceremony, the attire, the reception and where you went for the honeymoon get more play than the actual process of being married to this man for the rest of your life?

Trust God and have patience: It's safe to believe that God's plan from the beginning had something to do with the family. Adam and Eve was the first married couple. We're a long ways down the millenniums from Adam and Eve, but God's plan is still the family. He wants your marriage to succeed. Likewise, don't expect it to all come together overnight. Neither of you will ever be perfect. He may track dirt in the house after you've cleaned for the next 50 years. He may forget your birthday three out of five years. Live patiently in a time when it's normal to be impatient. Ultimatums like "if you don't get it right by day after tomorrow, I'm leaving" are easy to say, but not what you really mean.

Regard history as a friend: By history I mean the history of your relationship. Those memorable moments that made you stronger. Those hardships you went through together that added value to your relationship. The nights he brushed your hair, or shared his coat with you when it was cold outside. What about when you had your first baby, and he cooked dinner for you? You knew then he hadn't held a pot in his hands too many times. The point is, building a relationship takes time, lots of blood, sweat and tears as well as laughter and joy. Before selling your relationship short, think of all you mean to each other.

Regard history as an enemy: By this history, I mean memories of when he hurt you, or when he failed, or when you discovered what you really didn't want to know was going on. It takes a while for these memories to heal, but do allow them to heal. Don't let them fester in the back of your mind, waiting for the next time he messes up.

Regard the simple things: You think that he can only be satisfied if he's eating an expensive dinner at some fancy restaurant. What about something as simple as a candlelight dinner with white linen table cloths, stem glasses, fine china, and his favorite meal? Just the two of you. When was the last time you wrote him a poem, or gave him a back rub, or a pedicure? Yes, he can go to the salon with you and get a pedicure. But no woman's touch is like yours. Is it possible that these times mean more than if you ate out, or did some big, expensive thing?

Regard your marriage as sacred, special: Most importantly, when you got married, you became one with your marriage partner. This oneness is sacred; it is unique, a gift, something worth protecting and savoring. It's not just an event in history that changed your name and social security status. Marriage is something that can reap abundant bliss if it is treated with respect.