Seven Ways to Recycle Those Old Clothes

You've made some questionable fashion statements in the past. Don't feel ashamed, it happens to everyone at some point. To keep that closet from erupting with the fury of a million gotten fads you wished burned in in a grease fire five years back, It might be a good idea to recycle a few things...

That old speedo you like wearing to the beach can be used as a higher affective slingshot. Blind people with stones, not with the unsightly view of your overflowing belly and hair buttocks.

The sweater grandma made for you does have it's uses. Don't feel bad about not wearing it out in public. You can use it as moth repellent. If they try to eat it, they will soon become sick due to the vast array of colors and thick, poison laden cotton.

Remember platform shoes? I don't, but apparently they used to be very popular. If you own a pair with a built in fish tank in the heels, you could cut a hole in it and use it as the worlds most gimmicky change bank.

Zubaz...Sorry, but they have no use what so ever. You must live with the shame of having own them out in public at one point, and not being able to get rid of 'em.

Zoot Suits double as bomb shelters when under the right conditions.

Hang on to those Tie-Dye shorts for as long as you can. when the Aliens invade in the year 2014, they just might save your life. I have a theory about bright colors disorienting other worldly travelers. It's based on absolutely nothing, but it could be out only line of defense.

Got a Michael Jackson jacket? Start wearing it again. If someone pulls a gun out and tells you to hang over all your belongings, they will lose interest as you begin to unzip, look in a pocket, rezip, unzip another zipper, look in, then rezip, etc.