Sex Advice: Sex While She's On Her Period and Dodging a Stalker

My boyfriend always wants to have sex while I'm on my period. I think it's gross, but he says he doesn't mind. I still haven't let him, but ironically I always seem to be hornier when it's that time of month. Should I try it? And if I do, how can I do it so it won't be gross?

Concerned about Flow

Dear Flow,

Wow, he doesn't mind and you do? Actually it's not as uncommon as it sounds. In my experience, girls are usually more freaked out about this issue than guys are. Almost EVERY woman I know will downright refuse to have sex while Aunt Flow is visiting. I think it's remarkable that men have finally gotten over the ick factor of a woman's period, and have come to accept that the menstrual cycle is part of woman that can't be changed. Now we just need to women to come to that same acceptance. Women grow up being told that being on your period should be kept a secret, not discussed and that it is an inconvenience of being a woman. I tend to agree about that last part, but it is something that I'm trying to embrace more. A woman's menstrual cycle is really the epitome of being a woman, besides giving birth and boobs and stuff. A great book to read on this subject is "Cunt" by Inga Muscio. She talks in length about women taking back their womanhood and embracing it, and the word cunt.

But, back to the subject at hand: booty while bleeding. You really have to read your own body, Flow. If you are having wretched cramps and bleeding heavily, it's probably not a good time to get down and dirty. However, if it's fairly light and you're feeling good, there's no problem. Put a towel underneath you and go to town. According to Columbia University's health professional question and answer website, a woman's tendency to be hornier during her period could be due to a couple of factors: one is the surge of estrogen during ovulation that is still lingering during menstruation. A second reason is that the possibility of pregnancy is greatly reduced, so some women feel more freely about having sex during that time. And the third reason is that pelvic congestion is heightened during your period so that can be interpreted as arousal. By the way, it has been proven that sex is a great reliever of cramps!

Do be aware of what's going on down there, but not so much that you aren't able to have a good time. There may be a bit of a mess when you are done, but that's what the towel is for. Don't freak out about how your man will react to the mess if there is one, he knew what he was getting into when he decided he wanted to have sex with you on your period. If you try it and you just don't like it, then by all means don't do it anymore. It's your body and you have to be comfortable. He can wait 5 days!

Dear Lisa,

I had a one night stand with a guy I kinda knew after seeing him at a bar. It was horrible and I don't want to hook up with him anymore, let alone talk to him or date him. He keeps calling me, because I stupidly left my number on the counter before I snuck out in the morning. I don't answer the phone and don't return his calls. It's been a month, and he STILL calls me every Friday and Saturday night at about 2:00 in the morning when the bars close. Why won't he get the point?

Being stalked

Dear Stalked,

TELL HIM TO STOP CALLING YOU!!!!

I have a friend to does this, she's very passive aggressive and hates confrontation. A guy she slept with called her continually for THREE MONTHS! For some god awful reason guys just don't get the frickin point! It is very frustrating. HOWEVER, (I know I keep using all caps, but I'm practically yelling at the computer, therefore I needed a way to show that) put yourself in his shoes. Just be a woman and give him the courtesy that he deserves as a human being. The only crime he committed was being bad in bed. And although that is right up there with shoplifting and chewing gum in bed, he still deserves to be treated with a bit of dignity. You'll be surprised how much he will appreciate it. In fact, I'll so helpful as to tell you EXACTLY what to say to him. The conversation should go something like this:

"Hey there, I'm really sorry I haven't been returning your calls. You're a really nice guy, I'm just not feeling it between us. I hope you understand. I'll probably see ya around."

If you do not end it, he will not stop calling. I guarantee it. I don't know how to stress this to you enough (I'm done with caps by the way). And if you are still too pussy to tell him how you feel, just lie and say you are dating someone. He probably won't believe you, but he'll stop calling at 2 am. Good luck!

Oh, and just so you don't think I can't sympathize, I did this to a guy too. We slept together one time in January and finally in JUNE, I had to answer his call and tell him I'm not interested.

If you have a question for Lisa, please email her at: LisasLoveAdvice@hotmail.com