Sex After Baby: What to Expect the First Time

While some women are ready earlier or later, six weeks is how long professionals recommend a woman wait before engaging in sexual intercourse after giving birth. Everyone's experience being back in the saddle is different, but there are some things that commonly occur the first few times. These things are nothing to worry about and usually go away with time. The best approach to the first sexual encounter after birth is to take it easy, nice and slow. Here are some things you may experience the first time you have sex after pregnancy.

You may be drier than usual, especially if your menses have not returned. K-Y makes a number of products that will help with this problem. This may stick around for a while, especially if you are breastfeeding and not having periods. And it may go away quick. Every woman is different.

You may be tighter than usual, especially if you had stitches, or even looser. This change is usually not permanent. You should tighten or loosen up again after a few rolls in the hay. If you are tighter, do not hesitate to ask your partner to be slower and gentle than usual. Even if you are a bit more loose down there, he should be careful, because you may still be healing.

If you have stitches, sex may irritate them. You may find that afterwards they bleed just slightly or even itch a little. That's okay. If you feel any soreness during sex where your stitches are, be sure to let your partner know. Some women even have the sensation during sex of an itch actually being scratched where their stitches are, which as anyone who has ever scratched an itch knows is a good feeling.

You may experience pain, particularly near the cervix and stitches. For me, the first few minutes were very uncomfortable. For you, there may be no pain at all, or the entire encounter may be fraught with discomfort. Don't give up right away, and don't let it keep you from having sex. You may find that after a few minutes, things feel much better--or it may take a few encounters. Keep at it!

Many women experience bleeding after sex. This may happen after the first time or even the first few times. You may just have a little blood, or you may spot for a few days. It is really nothing to worry about. Usually, it's just some left over uterine liner. Sex stimulates tiny contractions, and these can cause your cervix to release any leftover blood. If you soak your panties or a pad, you should see a doctor. Otherwise, don't fret.

You may experience some incontinence during or just after sex. This is normal. Your bladder has been under pressure from your uterus for nine months. It may take a while for it to strengthen again and for you to regain full control. Most likely, this won't be a big enough problem for your partner to notice. There's no need to be embarrassed.

And...last but not least, the baby will probably interrupt you before you're "finished." You'll hear a scream from down the hall in the nursery or a cry from the nearby bassinet, and it'll be over quicker than it started. There's nothing to ruin your libido like a crying infant. This is, unfortunately, something you will have to get used to and that may persist even into the teenage years. Welcome to parenthood.

These are all minor irritations that usually dissipate as time goes by. If you experience sharp pain or significant bleeding, you need to see a doctor. Whether you wait four weeks, six, or three months, be sure not to let him dive right in when you're ready to be intimate for the first time. Start out slow and gentle, and be sure to communicate to him any discomfort you are feeling. The first time in the sac was great for me, despite a few minutes of irritation at first, and it can be for you, too. Don't be afraid!