Sex and the City Movie Two: An Early Review - Major Spoiler Alert

It's hard to let a good thing go and it's even harder to let a good profitable thing go. The box office success of the first movie made the sequel inevitable. Yep, even though there is no story left to tell after the 6 seasons and 145 minutes of movie already spun out by the profitable franchise that is Sex and The City.

That said, I have not an inkling of what will happen in Sex and The City Movie Two. I have several, all of them courtesy of my first (and very likely last) production site visit ever.

The trailer was released today and Darren Star, Michael Patrick King & SJP have chocked it full of the fabulous fashion that a fortunate few could afford during the series regular run--though plenty more, writer included, pretended to afford--but that no one is buying now. There's plenty of the sparkly fun that made Manhattan look not only pristinely sophisticated but like the only place for the fabulous four that is Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis to live. In short? Great clothes, great real estate, great restaurants, a bit of a dialogue and possibly a hint of plot and you have a blockbuster.

The writing is speculated to be subpar, batting far below the smartly-written series we all watched on HBO (or on DVD...or on TBS...) and loved.

Most fans won't even care.

Avid fans will hope.

The smartest (fine, nosiest) fans can debate likely haps from the rumor mill that is a production assistant sister...and share the word on the street:

Things we're GUESSING:

1. It's a few years later when the movie starts (after movie 1) and Charlotte and Harry have a toddler...and a sick Lilly. But they had no drama in movie one, they were over due for some fighting. Consequently, all is well with the Brooklyn -based Steve and Miranda.

2. IMDB.COM has some great set pictures of the ladies all 80'd out. A favorite activity of the series. But is it a flashback and not just a party? Perhaps movie 2 sends us back in time which would explain the next item...

3. Miley Cyrus wears the same dress as SJP in the movie at the same event. She's either at the same event as our lady (not interesting)...or she's playing the young SJP the lucky girl (could be intriguing).

Things we KNOW:

4. Yes, yes. Big and Carrie are together. Rumors of infidelity abound. Infidelity and -- wait for it -- SATC might not be a recession proof dreamland after all with Big losing his loot and living in a *gasp* one bedroom apartment as US Magazine reports. And THAT might be why the trailer shows us Carrie in her old closet, looking like the 6 seasons and first movie never happened

5. There's a gay wedding. Anthony? Stanford? Or Cynthia Nixon? Kidding. Kidding. It's Stanny! Who will he marry? Word is, it ain't Markus, the kindly male whore he dated in the series...

6. Then there is the leaked pictures of Samantha in a wedding dress. Don't worry. Dream sequence. Smith is hot but Sam is hotter. Which leads us to the number 7.

8. Sam is well into menopause and that gets quite a few laughs on the hot flash front. Kim did have some nipping and tucking before the movie. The pressure of Hollywood to look 30 at 50. Either way, the lady is fabulous.

9. And the BIG one. Carrie gets knocked up. Big doesn't want a baby. Big wants her to "get rid of it." Big leaves. No guess for which of the girls drop the line "Carrie, have the baby, we're your family." Does he come back? We haven't gotten confirmation on this one. But while he's gone...

10. A.I.D.E.N. Yep. The man we loved so much that we ALMOST gave up on Carrie when she let Mr. Perfect go. He's back. They worked it in with the Steve/Aiden joint-bar owning angle. And wouldn't you know it, he still loves Carrie.

Things we'll bet our personal bank on:

11. Come May 2010, I'll be out with my girlfriends tossing back the Cosmopolitans and watching the ladies strutting down the street. And through the desert. On camels.