Sex and the City Park: Dr. Ruth Westheimer Talks Beneath Midtown Manhattan Trees

In front of New York's 42nd Street library, a pair of stone lions sat on their haunches, gazing out at the street. Behind the library, famed sex researcher and therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer perched on a platform that lifted her tiny body up high enough so she could look out at the people who had gathered there to see her, as she delivered a funny, feisty talk.

The theme of the evening, aptly enough, was romance. Bryant Park, the beautifully-restored park that covers the city block behind the library, had issued an open invitation to couples who had first met each other there to write out the stories of their meetings. Twenty-five couples did so, and many of them showed up on June 30, 2010, a balmy Wednesday evening, for Dr. Ruth's talk. All of this was part of the park's summer Word-for-Word series of events devoted to hearing, discussing, and creating literature and ideas.

Dr. Ruth is best known for using her considerable charm -- her small size, her accent, her humor, her neat bespectacled appearance -- to disarm people so that she can talk about sex with a frankness that might be shocking or offensive if it came from someone who didn't look quite so grandmotherly.

On this evening, she did not disappoint. She spoke in praise of romance and relationships, then played against her image by calling herself "old-fashioned" and "square." She added that she liked to talk frankly about sex because in this country, we have the best scientifically-validated data -- which she pronounced "scientifically-validated DADA." She warmed the crowd up by asking us to say, in unison, several words that probably can't be printed here -- the ones beginning with p, v, and o -- and everyone did so, laughing.

She told a funny story about how she never invited her late husband to these events, because he would just tell people that she was all talk. Once, though, when Diane Sawyer came to interview her at her home, Dr. Ruth's husband was there. The very first question Diane Sawyer asked was addressed to the husband: "How is your sex life?" He answered, "The shoemaker's children don't have any shoes."

Behind all of Dr. Ruth's humor lies a lifetime of impressive scholarship. The humor is meant to help her message stick in people's minds, the message that knowledge is good, enjoying sex is good, relationships are good, and preventing unwanted pregnancies is good. Although Dr. Ruth revels in frank talk, she doesn't believe that "anything goes." In a question-and-answer period after her talk, one young woman asked if it was okay that she wanted to wait to have sex until marriage, even though nobody in her family believed in doing that. Dr. Ruth said that people should stick to their convictions, whatever they are, and not be swayed by what other people thought -- a nice answer which I hope the questioner has taken to heart.

At the end, a long line of people queued up to have Dr. Ruth sign their copies of "Sex for Dummies" -- one of the thirty-five books she has written.

For more information:

Dr. Ruth has her own website at drruth.com. Some of it may be unsafe for work.

For information on future Word-for-Word author talks, book signings, poetry readings, panel discussions, and writing workshops, see the Bryant Park website.