Sex Education or Abstinence Education?

Smoking and drinking alcohol are two behaviors that are considered legal and "okay" for adults in today's world. However, we still seek to protect teenagers from the dangers involved with these activities. First, the government established minimal legal age requirements for the usage of both tobacco and alcohol. Beyond that, in recent years, the government and big tobacco companies have agreed to minimize the advertising to teenagers on television and in magazines (see this article), and in regard to the alcohol industries, "Alcohol advertisers have pledged to comply with self-regulatory codes designed to limit targeting of teens" (see this). This government involvement is considered necessary to protect our teens from these addictions that can cause many problems in their lives, now and in their later years. But there is another behavior that adults not only approve for teenagers, but "sell" to them! In a word, sex.

How many shows out there does a teenager watch that do not involve sex at all? None come to my mind. In 2001, two-thirds of all the shows on TV were found to have some sexual content, with the number of programs showing teens in sexual situations rising (see it here). When I sit to watch some TV later, I will see an ad for Enzyte: Natural Male Enhancement, Cialis or Viagra, birth control commercials, and commercials for everything else, which will contain scantily-clad females or a man "winning" a woman over with his car, newly-grown hair, or hamburger. Magazines covers offer us articles about how to be better lovers, the best sexual positions, or what men want. Sex is hammered into our daily lives to the point where we begin not to notice anymore. But for a young person, seeing all this everyday tells him or her that sex is "cool", "normal", and "desirable". These are all true-but that does not mean sex is a good idea for a teenager.

Most adults believe that teenagers should have access to contraceptives. I don't necessarily disagree. However, teaching only "safer sex" practices under the notion of "they're going to do it anyway" reduces our teenagers to animals who have no control over their bodies or their actions. Schools are lying to our teens when they send them out into the world assuming they are going to be safe, without first fully advising them of the consequences. Parents, sadly, too often don't want to be involved, and remain ambivalent, or at least quiet, on the topic. They do not want to have an uncomfortable conversation, assume their teen won't listen, or assume that their child is getting all the necessary information from school. Parents, by their own disassociation, are enabling dangerous behavior as well.

Sex has risks. These risks can be detrimental in many different ways, and some are deadly. While opinions differ on the actual percentage of effectiveness of condoms, everyone agrees they are not 100%, including the package itself. One website says that "Studies suggest that condoms, when used consistently and correctly, offer significant risk reduction (80-87%) for HIV/AIDS. Condoms provide less risk reduction for other sexually transmitted diseases. Research indicates significant risk reduction for HIV to almost none for others (e.g., HPV)" (source ). That same site puts failure rate in terms of pregnancy at 15%. Others feel the percentages are a little higher, or argue these numbers are skewed because they include proper and improper usage. When taking this into consideration, though, we must remember that we are talking about teenagers. They are young, nervous, and under extreme emotional pressure. Even if they have put a condom on a banana, when the moment comes, there is a very good chance they are not going to get the condom on right, if at all. Whatever specific percentage you choose to list condom failure rates at, the key thing to remember is that they have a failure rate, and the consequences of that failure are serious.

I am not going to go into the details of teen pregnancy and STD rates (a good website to check out is www.teenpregnancy.org/). They are both tragic and avoidable events. It is frightening to think that at such a young age, teenagers are being allowed to put themselves at such high risks, opening the door to physical, emotional, financial and educational damage for a few minutes of pleasure. The impact on the teens and their families is huge and painful. Even pregnancy, while it can be easily "terminated" is a difficult and scarring experience. Even if you consider yourself "pro-choice", think about this: would you want to expose your daughter to an abortion, if it could be avoided? Beyond their teenage years, risky sexual behavior remains dangerous as they go off to college, experiment with drugs and alcohol, and get involved with people they barely know.

So now we get to the meat of it, and I know what you are thinking: now she's going to say that abstinence is the right decision, is the best morality to possess, and should be taught solely in schools. Not exactly. First of all, abstinence is not a MORAL decision, it is a smart decision based on the evidence above. Teach teenagers about condoms and contraceptives: their ineffectiveness and side effects. Make sure they realize that sex is not safe. The consequences are enormous, physical and emotional. We need to make sure our teenagers understand this. Sex education should contain abstinence education, and teenagers should be told that the media is wrong: risky sexual behavior is not glamorous, it is tragic. They are intelligent and capable of making good decisions, so provide them with the truth: that they are better off waiting. Trust me, I know.