Sex Education: Why Teach Abstinence Only?
Abstinence Education Versus Safe Sex Ed
Somehow the subject of abstinence education versus "safe" sex education came up. "Abstinence-only" education, also called "abstinence-till-marriage," teaches about the emotional, social, and physical benefits of having sex only within a faithful marriage relationship. It includes teaching about the failure rates and unreliability of contraception in preventing STDs and pregnancy. Sex education (so-called "safe" sex teaching) encourages promiscuous sexual activity as a natural part of life and teaches (explicitly) about contraceptive devices, how to use them, and where to get them.
As a Christian, I believe that fornication (isn't that a great word?) is sin, and therefore tend to personally approach the debate on a moral basis: "Let's teach abstinence because it's 'right.'" Nathan, also a Christian, didn't really see the problem with the way sex education is currently taught in public schools.
I had some strong evidence to back up my personal belief, having just read an interesting report about the effectiveness of abstinence-only education in combating AIDS:
"And the bill mandating the two-child policy includes sex education for Filipino children, even though abstinence-based efforts in the Philippines have been remarkably effective in containing the spread of AIDS…. The Filipino abstinence-based approach…has kept the Philippines relatively free of HIV infection. The adult HIV infection rate was a mere 0.1% in 2001, though the Philippines has a low condom use rate. Even Arroyo [the governor] ascribed this success to 'good morality.' Yet results don't matter: The bill adopts the pro-"safe" sex approach that has failed everywhere." (From The Population Research Institute's Weekly Briefing, 15 July 2005)
The same thing is working in Uganda too: "Uganda happens to be the only sub-Saharan African country that has achieved a large reduction in her HIV prevalence rate. Its adult HIV infection rate has dropped from 18% to 5-7%. No other nation in the world has achieved such success. Most sub-Saharan African nations, following the pro-condoms model, continue to suffer from rising HIV infection rates. But then, other African nations do not have leaders like Ugandan President Museveni and his wife. This dynamic duo has consistently promoted an abstinence-first model that has successfully changed Ugandan culture." (From the Population Research Institute article entitled "UN AIDS Envoy Can't Stomach Abstinence," 13 October 2005).
Nathan thought this was interesting but opined that in American public schools, since they wouldn't be allowed to teach Christian morality, should continue to teach about contraceptive usage. He basically used the "kids will be kids, they'll have sex anyway, let's try to keep them as safe as possible" argument.
After some further discussion about schools, I ended up conceding that public schools can and will certainly teach whatever they want. But I still didn't believe that approach was best. So I asked him, "What will you teach your own children, then?"
He thought a moment and responded, "I would encourage them to be abstinent, but would also tell them to practice safe sex if they're going to be sexually active." Then he asked me, "Would you just not teach your kids about contraception at all?"
"I would talk about contraceptives," I said. "I would certainly talk about the failure rates - the FDA says condoms fail 14% of the time, and a diaphragm is less effective than that. But I wouldn't tell them to use them." (It does turn out that mixed messages from parents don't work, according to www.abstinence.net.)
"But wouldn't you rather they use condoms than nothing, if they decide to have sex?" he asked.
I was having trouble articulating why that viewpoint bothered me so much when Matthew walked by and threw in his two cents: "I'd rather not teach them to mitigate the consequences of their sin."
Then it hit me…God as our Father doesn't tell us, "Please don't sin, but if you're going to sin, he's how to avoid the negative results."
Rather, He says: "Consecrate yourselves therefore, and be holy, for I am holy" (Leviticus 11:44). He says, "Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect" (Matthew 5:48).
I shared these verses, then I said, "I want to hold my children to the same standard God holds me to. I want to tell them not to sin. I want to tell them to be holy."
More guests arrived at that point, and we moved on. Nathan came up to me later and said, "You know what? I've thought about what you said, and you're right."
The word of God, it is a two-edged sword.
Published by Becky Miller
Becky Miller is a wife and homemaker, a furniture trade magazine editor, and a mother-to-be. View profile
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- For more information about abstinence education, see www.abstinence.net .
- �Abstinence-only� education teaches the many benefits of sex within marriage.
- Sex education (so-called �safe� sex teaching) encourages promiscuous sexual activity
- When parents talk about abstinence AND "safe sex," kids tend to be sexually promiscuous.
27 Comments
Post a CommentMy father was a fine christian man. He taught each of us boys about sex. He said. "A stiff peter has no conscience. It will always get what it wants, So if you have to have sex at least use a condom. If you get her pregnant you will marry her and raise that child. If you bring a child in this world the Lord looks at the father, not the mother to see that the child is raised correctly. If you don't I will make sure you don't have any more." I have always remebered these words and I never got a girl pregnant.
My father was a fine christian man. He taught each of us boys about sex. He said. "A stiff peter has no conscience. It will always get what it wants, So if you have to have sex at least use a condom. If you get her pregnant you will marry her and raise that child. If you bring a child in this world the Lord looks at the father, not the mother to see that the child is raised correctly. If you don't I will make sure you don't have any more." I have always remebered these words and I never got a girl pregnant.
I agree with schools teaching abstinence only. Parents should be the teachers of the sacredness of sexual relations, which should be preserved for Marriage, between a man and a woman. It is devastating that society has departed from following God's commandments. STD, children out of wedlock are only some of the consequences. Guard your children... teach them high standards and morals, even if you are not Christian and it will improve your family and society.
You are disarming your children to make their own decisions and to be prepared for when they are faced with issues of sex.Which I guarantee you, you will be.
Just because you say no, does not mean, that they will listen. Congrats on becoming a future young grandmother.
Also, whether or not sex education does not teach about the personal fulfilling need of love in a relationship, then that responsibility falls to you as a parent to educate your child.
Premarital sex is indeed a sin and God gives a very good reason why. It is a transference of spirits and if you sleep around you are picking up all sorts of demonic spirits. I believe in abstinence only because I believe the word of God and because I know firsthand the consequences of having sex outside of marriage. I teach my son about abstinence, but also he is very educated about the ways of the world, yet he has chosen to be abstinent (thus far) with simply seeing what goes on around him with his friends and he'd rather not be a baby daddy or even risk the chance and a lot of the girls he knows he says aren't worth the trouble they could bring. He has been honest to tell me about who he likes and does date, but for now nothing has compelled him enough to break his belief in God's word or what he sees around him. There always has to be a standard and education doesn't have to encourage sex, it should discourage it. If I knew then what I know now I probably would've waited too.
I was taught sex education in public school, but I was NEVER "encouraged [to have] promiscuous sexual activity." A big issue I must point out is that children will not automatically have the same opinions or religious beliefs as their parents, especially teenagers. If teens have questions, but their parents give them the impression that it is not okay to ask these questions, than the teen will search elsewhere. Who do you want to teach your children about sex: Yourself, or his/her friends, the tv, and the internet? As a teenager, divides are already occuring between you and your parents. If the parents will not engage in open conversation and witholds information, than that creates a big rift. That rift can be 100x more dangerous than a conversation about condoms. Knowing about birth control and STD protection does not mean that the teen will immediately go out and have sex either. That just means that the teen is educated on such matters.
I agree that it is wise to wait until marriage if you are a christian. I am trying too. I'm not sure if it is a sin if you don't. Because the New Testament only speaks of sexual immorality, porneia. Everyone has to decide for themselves what is meant with sexual immorality.
You cannot use the Old Testament to find out, you can only get some indications, but that's it. Unless you also want to stone people or allow men to have polygamic relations...
Besides. What is the definition of marriage? Marriage as a institution has changed over the centuries. It is not as black and white as you say it.
Heterosexuals like to condemn homosexuals. Virgins like to condemn couples who do have sex.
You know why? Pride.
That is why I react. When Jesus said that we have to be perfect like our Heavenly Father... do you believe He was saying that you are going to be perfect? Are you gonna teach your children that they have to be perfect?
Are you gonna believe that YOU are perfect?
Th
I have taken a comprehensive sex education class and it in no way encouraged me to have sex at all, let alone be promiscuous. As a matter of fact, the graphic pictures and lengthy details of STDs made me very conscientious of how important it is to NOT be promiscuous. Parents like you are the reason kids are at increased risk of pregnancy and STD. The TYPICAL failure rate of a condom is 14%. Used correctly, it is at least 96% effective. Typical failure rates indicate kids who at least try to use a condom but do not know how to properly use it because they were in abstinence-only programs and were never taught the importance of using a condom correctly. I think it's horrible you would rather your kids get an STD and have a baby than teach them about using contraceptives. I don't think it's bad to teach your kids to be abstinent, but you obviously don't have faith in your skills of teaching morals if you think telling them about contraceptives will turn them into sex-crazed adolescents.
Parents - start being parents! Tell them the truth about birth control. It is not 100% effective for one, 2, it does not stop sexually transmitted diseases - which are at an incresing rate for teen agers. And you 13 year olds having sex, are you on crack?? The pill has side affects as well. My sister got a blood clot from using them and almost died. Parents - teach your kids from an early age to say no and keep a shot gun behind your door. Kids should not be dating before 16 anyway. Dads - scare the crap out of these boys when they come in your door to keep their hands off your daughters! Be a man for god's sake.
Humans are interesting, we are motivated by many things, to either do or not to do other things! If you don't have a moral compass of somekind, then the alternative is all about you...do what feels good. You forget about the child that wantS to be good, but slips. Using condoms is NOT FOOLPROOF. Now I would think std's would be enough to make you be very careful. The old Victorian days were smart, they understood that the youth, were not disciplined enough when alone. The chaperone was there, and other devices to protect their DAUGHTERS. Wise parents won't forget those years when they were young. Whether they failed or not it was about wanting something better for their children.
if a child has a sweet tooth you remove the sweets. If a child is found smoking, you don't teach them the right way to do it! My son was three and found a cigarette and was acting like he was smoking. I proceeded to show him the right way and of course he did it well, and coughed a bit afterward....he does n