Sex and Interstitial Cystitis: a Guide for Women

Interstitial Cystitis is a bladder disease that causes mild to severe discomfort and pain in the bladder area and vaginal area. People with Interstitial Cystitis (or IC Disease) will suffer from pain, urinary frequency, urgency, vaginal bleeding, and pressure in the lower abdomen and pelvic region. The pain and other symptoms for some are so severe that they are bedridden. Interstitial Cystitis is also referred to as Painful Bladder Syndrome because it falls under a set of urinary disorders that cannot be attributed to one cause. People with Interstitial Cystitis will have bladder hemorrhages. This is where the vaginal bleeding comes from.

Women with Interstitial Cystitis often find that their symptoms worsen after having sexual intercourse with their partner. I have known a few women with Interstitial Cystitis to completely give up sex because the pain, pressure, and urinary frequency and urgency increase dramatically after sex. This illness can be devastating and severe enough that even sex is no longer an enjoyable part of life.

There are ways to still have a sexual relationship with your spouse while having Interstitial Cystitis. Both you and your partner have to be willing to do the work involved, but it is worth it if you can still enjoy a healthy sex life. I am not a physician so always talk to your doctor about any tips you read online. What I write about comes from years of being ill and from personal experience.

Communicate your feelings and explain your illness in detail to your spouse. Men commonly just want to fix things. If you tell them you are sick or that there is a problem, their first instinct is to say, "How do I fix it"? Unfortunately with a chronic illness like Interstitial Cystitis, they can't fix it. They need to listen and to try and understand how painful the illness is and how it has changed your life. Your spouse almost might feel like a flare after sex is their fault and they may be the one to avoid intimacy with you. Explain to your spouse that what is happening to you is not their fault. Work together and communicate.

Avoid the missionary position. The missionary position is the worst sexual position for women with Interstitial Cystitis. The weight of the man and the angle at which he thrusts can cause some serious pain, bleeding, and increase in other symptoms of Interstitial Cystitis. Experiment with other positions and make it a game. You can actually spice up your sex life by breaking out of your traditional routine.

There is more to intimacy than just intercourse. If you find that intercourse in any position is just too painful and makes your symptoms worse, try oral sex or manual stimulation. Some patients may complain about even foreplay making their pain worse so it depends on each IC patient's body. Everyone's illness is different and what bothers one person may not another. You have to be willing to experiment and try though to find out. Kiss, hug, and hold your spouse. These are always wonderful ways to show affection.

Practice good after sex hygiene. The woman needs to urinate and empty her bladder immediately after sex. I know that IC patients are told to do so because of any bacteria that could have been introduced during intercourse. By emptying the bladder, possible further inflammation can be avoided. Rinse your vaginal area with cool water and do not use any soap that can irritate the vaginal area.

If you have Interstitial Cystitis, or know someone who does, hopefully some of these tips can help you still have an enjoyable sex life and a happy relationship.