Sex, Lies, and Shakespeare: A Formal Explication of Sonnet 138

Shakespeare's 138^th sonnet is the musings of a man who is being lied to by his lover and who, in return, lies to her too; yet even though both parties know they are being dealt with falsely, neither is willing to end the charade. This double-standard first becomes evident in the beginning two lines of the sonnet: "When my love swears that she is made of truth, / I do believe her, though I know she lies." He is willing to accept her word, though he knows it cannot be so. The Oxford English Dictionary (OED) defines "truth" as "disposition to speak or act truly or without deceit," but also as "one's faith or loyalty... A solemn engagement or promise, a covenant." It is the latter definition that Shakespeare is using, more so than the first: certainly his sweetheart is lying to him, but the matter of the lie is the subject of her loyalty to him, and she has been untrue.

In the following two lines we are given the metaphor of an "untutor'd youth" to explain the way the author's lover would have to think of him. To her, he is like an innocent child, as yet uneducated in the "false subleties" of the world: were he an experienced adult, he would immediately see through her ruse. We know, of course, that the writer has seen through her, and we cannot be sure even that she is unaware of his knowledge; but she prefers to live with the assumption that he is ignorant, and he allows her to.

The natural question at this point ought to be, why is Shakespeare willing to be treated thus? He will ask that question himself further on, but for the moment we are given one possible reason, which will add another layer to the strange relationship. As explained over the next stanza of the poem, the unfaithful woman is not the only person who has been something less than honest: the author, too, has secrets of his own; namely, his age. He doesn't expect his lover to believe his claims of youthfulness, but that's a mere technicality: as long as he is not blatantly challenged, he is content. After all, he hasn't questioned the woman's loyalty: why should she question his age?

Thus vainly thinking that she thinks me young,

Although she knows my days are past the best,

Simply I credit her false-speaking tongue:

On both sides thus is simple truth supprest.

This sonnet is only one of numerous examples where Shakespeare deviates from the expected course. Where so many relationships are built on complete honesty and understanding, this one thrives on the suppressing of the most basic and obvious facts.

At this point in the poem, the author takes on a more contemplative tone. Over lines 9 and 10 he asks himself the question we touched on earlier: wherefore (or "why") do they not come clean? "But wherefore says she not she is unjust? / And wherefore say not I that I am old?" Shakespeare's lover has been disloyal '" still is, in fact '" but will not confess it. Meanwhile, Shakespeare knows that his "days are past the best," but vainly insists that he's not that old. Both parties know each other too well to fall for these pathetic lies, so why do they persist in their silly little game?

The answer is simple: "O, love's best habit is in seeming trust." The word "habit" here does not mean an action that we are so used to that it is now second nature; rather it is a metaphor referring to clothes, such as the "habit" of a nun. The OED lists "dress" and "garb" as synonyms. The best way to present love, then, the finest way to "clothe" it, is in '" if not actual trust '" the appearance of it. And besides, Shakespeare argues in the next line, "age in love loves not to have years told." That is to say, when a man is in love with someone too far younger than himself, he considers his age as more of an obstacle than an advantage, and would rather just not talk about it.

The final couplet runs, "Therefore I lie with her, and she with me, / And in our faults by lies we flatter'd be." Most readers should catch the pun in the former line. The word "lie," of course, means "to utter falsehood": a main theme of the poem; but it will not take an English professor to know that "lie" can also mean "to be in one's bed" or "to have sexual intercourse with" (OED). The writer is repeating the fact that he and his mistress are both liars, but with the same words he gives us a glimpse of what goes on in the bedroom. His supposed acceptance of her loyalty, and her supposed belief in his youth, make it that much better when they have intercourse: when they "lie" with one another.

The last line of the sonnet does not merely say that they enjoy each other, but in fact that they are flattered by the lies. The man tells his mistress that she is his own, and she swears he is attractive and young. They are pleased to believe one another in spite of what they know to be true: this is what keeps them happy.

Reading this sonnet I am reminded of the Lady Antebellum country song "Looking for a Good Time" in which they sing, "Go ahead and lie to me and pull me close, tell me that you love me even if you don't." That is the theme of the poem. For Shakespeare, it isn't enough simply to ignore the unpleasant facts: he wants to blatantly deny them, speaking obvious falsehoods to the woman and being flattered in return. Each lover has chosen the lie he or she wants the other to believe, and the other plays along. Instead of rocking the boat, they have silently agreed to live and let live; making the relationship '" and the sex '" that much better.