Sex and Self-Esteem

Now we'll see what the male Viewpoints Panel Members think about this topic. Do they believe a person's issues with self-esteem affects their sex life? Do they like women with curves, or do they agree with the Hollywood ideal?

I think it will be interesting to see how men feel about this issue. Women are often harder on ourselves than men are. We seek perfection, when they love us just the way we are! Let's see if this is the case with the Viewpoint Panel Members.

Here's what they had to say:

Do you think a woman that wears a size ten or above is undesirable?

TheBarefoot: Absolutely not. I'm crazy for curves.

DR. RT: I think that as a full-grown man, I want a full-grown woman. Aren't women supposed to have curves and be soft?

Travis: Absolutely not, I think a woman can be desirable no matter what size she wears. I think the way a woman carries herself has a lot to do with how desirable others will find her.

Do you think a man is only sexy when he is long and lean?

TheBarefoot: My wife doesn't seem to mind long and solid.

DR. RT: I don't personally find many men sexy, nor do I notice if he is long or lean, thank you.

Travis: I'm sure some women feel the same way I do. I'm not long and lean, but there are women who find me sexy, or at least I think.

Do you think a person's self-esteem should have anything to do with their size?

TheBarefoot: Mine certainly doesn't, but I think I'm in the minority.

DR. RT: Depends. I'm a man. Size of what?

Travis: None what so ever. I think everyone should be happy with themselves, but if you feel like you need improvement go for it.

Have you gained weight since meeting your significant other, and if so, has it affected your sex life?

TheBarefoot: I've gained what most would call "age pounds," but it hasn't slowed my libido or my wife's desires either.

DR. RT: No, I've lost weight, considerably. My wife says I gave it all to her.

Travis: Yes, I have, and I do not believe it has affected us. I think our sex life has got better over the years, even though I have gained weight.

Are you less confident about your sexual prowess since gaining weight?

TheBarefoot: Not in the least. With age comes, how do I phrase this...control.

DR. RT: Not applicable, since I've lost weight. Yet, I can't see how weight makes a difference in performance. With sex, size might matter, but I'm pretty sure women aren't measuring a man's waist.

Travis: No, I am one of the people who are happy with themselves. If they don't like me, oh well.

Do you still dress and act sexy for your partner since gaining weight?

TheBarefoot: Clothes have never been something I've thought of as sexy, but my wife gets excited when I wear a suit. I guess ZZ Top was right, "Every girl crazy for a sharp-dressed man.

DR. RT: What did my wife say about that negligee? I promise, it was hers... those pictures, they're Photoshopped, really.

Travis: I'm not sure how "sexy" I ever acted, but I still act the same way.

Do you believe a person's own self-esteem can damage a relationship more than what their partner thinks?

TheBarefoot: Definitely. A person who has low self-esteem drags the relationship down. Even in marriage, you spend more time with your own thoughts than talking to your spouse. You truly have to love yourself to be able to love another.

DR. RT: No, self-esteem doesn't damage a relationship, but lack of it can if the person becomes needy and clingy, constantly requiring reassurance to simply function. Confidence is sexy.

Travis: I believe self-esteem can put a major strain on a relationship. If your significant other isn't confident with them self, it can be hard.

What advice would you give someone whose weight gain is having an effect on his or her sex life?

TheBarefoot: Sex burns calories. It's a win-win.

DR. RT: If it's a good effect, enjoy it. If it's not, have more sex.

Travis: Don't let weight or how you look affect your sex life. If you are with someone, they obviously see something in you, and if you let it bring you down, you are only hurting yourself.

Seems like our panel members are all stand up guys! It's nice to see there are men out there who know there is more to beauty than what's on the outside. If you missed it, you can see the female perspective on this here.