Sex Smells: Lady Gaga's New Perfume

Have you ever wondered what your favorite celebrity smelled like? Sure, you get to see your favorite celeb on the television or the big screen all the time. You see celebrity faces plastered on billboards and in your favorite magazines. You might even get to see your favorite celebrity in the flesh at a concert, but, really, how often do you get close enough to a celebrity to smell his or her unique tang? Rarely.

This is probably why so many celebrities have perfume and cologne endorsements. Sure ol' Barry Buttwater sitting on the couch wants to look like Justin Timberlake, but that would require major discipline and a weightloss of, oh, 150 pounds. But to smell like Mr. Timberlake? Now that, according to the latest perfume ad, is as easy as slapping down your trusty plastic and buying a bottle of Eau De Pretty Boy.

With celebrities like Beyonce and Britney Spears pimping their signature scents, is it any wonder that glamazon fame whore* Lady Gaga is getting in on the act by partnering with fragrance giant, Coty. Rumors are flying around the 'net about how the sweaty stink of the gaudy goddess will smell once bottled and many sources agree the scent currently under consideration is not floral undertones with spicy notes or anything mildly traditional, as anyone familiar with Ms. Gaga knows traditional is not her thing. Not, Lady Gaga is rumored instead to be considering a more, um, earthy aroma combination.

(*Make no mistake: I adore Queen Gaga.)

"According to sources in the fragrance industry hired to develop Lady Gaga's first fragrance," reports Lauren Sherman, of Fashionista, "the pop star has requested that the scent "smell of blood and semen."

Say what?

Although that is a bit shocking, it isn't exactly, as Sherman points out in her blog, all that new. A recent Six Scents perfume by Rad Hourani smells like semen, leather, baby powder, and incense. Secretions Magnifiques by L'Etat Libre de Orange was inspired by body fluids, i.e. sweat, semen, blood, and milk. And, really, what did you expect from the gal who popularized the raw meat dress?

(*Here's a tip: If you want to smell like that, why buy a perfume? Go get laid and skip the shower.)

Still, if Lady Gaga really wanted to create a bizarre scent, she should have partnered with Demeter, whose perfume line currently includes such scents as Funeral Home, Lobster, and Dirt. Or even Burger King, whose Flame body spray smells like a cross between a Whopper and a cheap hooker. Or, stranger still, the makers of Vulva Original, who spent, purportedly, years develop a perfume that smells like pooty tang. Who in the world buys that stuff besides fifteen year old boys? (Franky, I don't think Lady Gaga's target audience would be interested in that particular perfume.)

Somehow I don't think the makers of teen favorite, Exclamation, are going to let Blood and Cum slide. Still, even though floral tones are a much more popular fragrance base that, say, blood, you know Lady Gaga's scent-creation will sell out around the world, if for no other reason that people rushing to see if it smells as nasty as it sounds. (Let's not forget that any heterosexual couple can, at certain times of each month, recreate that very same odor in a fun and free way.) Eau de sex? As the adage goes, sex sells.