Sex Tourism in Thailand; Why the Double Standard?

Sex tourism is bad; most people would agree with that. It does happen and there is exploitation involved. There are men and women who use their holiday time to go looking for sex abroad and are willing to pay for it. I certainly would never deny the unjustness that is often involved in this business, but there is also much unfairness in how all western men who live or holiday in Thailand tend to get tarnished with the same stereotype; while western women seem to go unnoticed.

There really is a double standard in operation when it comes to westerners holidaying or living long-term in Thailand. There is often this blanket assumption that any foreign man with a Thai girlfriend or wife is some type of sex-tourist. There seems to be no such suspicion when it comes to western women with Thai men. Most people might think that it this is reasonable; after all it isn't always the men that are up to no good. Men are sex-tourists and females go on romantic holidays; sounds fair doesn't it? Well, actually no. The number of western men living with Thai women (or indeed Thai men) does outnumber the number of western women doing the same thing, but that does not mean that one should be viewed as more morally superior because of it. After all, they are both doing the same thing, aren't they? Why should marrying a person from a different country be more suspicious if a man does it then when a woman does it?

A frequent criticism that you hear levelled against the western man, who is married to a Thai woman, is that she is only with him for the money or because she wants a different passport. This type of offensive comment is frequently made against men, you hardly ever hear it levelled against women. There are plenty of western woman supporting Thai men, but this is just not mentioned so much. A sixty year old man with a twenty year old bride is the object of scorn, but a 60 year old woman with her blushing Thai-boy is somehow treated differently; if any blame is to be levelled against her it will most likely be deflected to her previous western husband or boyfriend who didn't treat her right and drove her to this type of thing.

I remember a few years back holidaying on the Thai island of Koh Chang. There was a woman in her twenties who was constantly complaining to anyone who would listen about how terrible it was that these Thai women were with western men. I could agree with many of her criticism bur her constant focus on this issue could be a bit draining. After a few weeks this woman began having an affair with a sixteen year old Thai fisher-boy. She saw no similarity between her own actions and those of the western men. She was all about love and they were all about sex tourism. Another double standard you see.

There are plenty of sex tourists arriving in Thailand; both male and female. They are only a small percentage of all the visitors though. Most western men married to Thais are not sex tourists. They are family types who sometimes see it as a bit irritating that their wives, often the mother of their children, are suspected of being prostitutes who are only with them for money. The double-standard that women doing the exact same thing are above suspicion can be a bit galling; especially as the most venomous attacks come from western women.