Sex Toys: First Time Buyer's Guide

Sex toys can be mystifying, exciting and shocking all in one fail swoop, so as an experienced sex toy shopper I'm going to tell you how to go about purchasing your first sex toy without being overwhelmed.

Lifestyle Choices

Before you set out to buy your first sex toy you should probably evaluate your lifestyle. By lifestyle I mean the following questions apply. Are you in a relationship? Do you have children? Do you travel a lot? Are you gay or straight?

If you are in a relationship you'll want to decide whether or not your new sex toy will be used by both of you or just by yourself.

When children live in your home you run the risk of having them discover your sex toys. You'll want to either purchase a device specifically made for hiding sex toys or else you'll need to create a space for them to be stored. You can find ideas on Where to Hide the Sex Toys in my library of articles.

Those that travel a lot should take that into consideration when purchasing a sex toy. Some sex toys are designed to be travel friendly. Others require that travel preparations be made ahead of time. In my article, The Proper Way to Take a Vibrator on a Plane explain the best way to travel with your sex toys.

Lastly, are you gay or straight? The reason that's something to consider when buying your first sex toy is because there are toys made specifically for those of the same gender to share and if you are gay you'll want to know that. If you're a straight male I doubt that you are in the market for a 9 inch rubber fist and might want to consider a realistic, life-like blow up doll.

All in all, the point is to figure out what kind of life you lead and what kind of sex toy will best fit into that lifestyle.

Know Thyself

I personally know someone that bought a sex swing because they were pressured into it. They never truly enjoyed using the swing and eventually began to dread the mention of it. Because she felt so strongly about it and failed to communicate that with her partner, her partner began to feel disappointed by her lack of enthusiasm for the swing.

They ended up divorced and you can see that one area of miscommunication was a sign that communication in their relationship was off. Sex toy buying is in many ways indicative of the inner workings of a relationship.

For some people buying a sex toy for the first time is akin to overcoming a huge fear and for that reason it is vitally important that you know your own sexual hangups. Everyone has at least one sexual hangup so be honest with yourself.

If you are against any kind of anal activity then don't let the sales clerk or your partner pressure you into purchasing a toy made for that kind of play. If something looks too big for your comfort then don't buy it. If you don't even like the color of something then don't buy it. Sex toys are meant to be fun and if you feel bad about your toy you won't enjoy it.

Rubber, Eco Friendly, Glass or Jelly

There's choices in this generation! If you are an environmentally friendly person you have options. There are eco friendly, green sex toys that are safe for both the body and the environment. There's too much information for me to explain eco friendly sex toys in this article but you can read my article Greengasm, Even Sex Can Be Environmentally Friendly or your can check the Sensual Vegan website out.

Shopping Online vs in an Adult Shop

If you're in a hurry to get your new sex toy then there are obvious perks to running downtown to your local sex shop but if you are taking your time and you want to get the best bang for your buck then consider shopping online. There are far more options in variety, color, brand and price online so in my humble opinion online is definitely the way to go. For beginning shoppers I would recommend the Adam and Eve, Edens Fantasys and Good Vibrations online stores as they have the most information available for customers.

Sales Clerks

The people who work in adult shops are very familiar and comfortable with their products. Don't be afraid to ask for help because in almost all cases the sales clerk will be willing to share what they know with you.

The Best Time to Shop

Since you are reading this guide for first time buyers I'm assuming you've never bought one so the best time for first time shoppers to go to an adult store is when it has the least amount of people in it. Most times if you call ahead and ask the sales clerk how busy the store is they'll tell you. Making your first sex toy purchase when the shop is empty can help you feel a little more comfortable.

Selecting the Type of Toy

Buying a sex toy for the first time doesn't have to be about buying the biggest dildo you can find. Paddles, handcuffs, blindfolds, lubes, oils, lotions and cock rings are all types of sex toys.

If you and your partner are excited but a little nervous then buy something small like a bindfold and see how it goes from there. If you find that a blindfold is just not enough then make another purchase later. The point is that when it comes to selecting your first toy you should buy what you like and what holds the most anticipation for you both without scaring yourselves to death or wasting money on something you discover you really don't like.

How to Select the Perfect Vibrator or Dildo

If you think you can march into any adult store, snag a vibrator off the shelf, go home and have huge orgasms you're wrong.

There was this one purchase I made... It was made of this hard plastic and it was green. Kermit the frog green. Normally I love the color green but not for this purpose. When I got the toy home and removed it from the packaging I found that it wasn't just hard plastic, it was hard plastic like the type used to make children's toys. It had absolutely no give to it. Even worst was that because it was hard plastic the batteries rattled around and it ended up sounding like a lawn mower. Very distracting to say the least.

The only reason I even bought "The Green Monster" was because I had to have something right then and there and that was all they had on the shelves due to the store being taken over and liquidized. If I had waited and ordered online I wouldn't have wasted the money on a sex toy I'll never use.

So, here's what you need to know about buying a vibrator or dildo.

Size - If you've never bought a vibrator and you have only just begun to be sexually active I would recommend your first vibrator be something like a bullet or small pocket vibrator until you get comfortable with the way it feels. If you've been sexually active for quite sometime or you like it rough then try one of the larger sizes. Choosing the right size all depends on your personal preference and comfort.

Another thing to consider when deciding what size to buy is where this toy will be used. If it is going to be used anally then definitely start with something very small.

Good Vibrations - The vibrating aspect is the whole reason to buy a vibrator while dildos don't vibrate at all and require manual manipulation. It doesn't really matter if you are new to sex or not when it comes to vibration the toy that has a range of vibrations is the best because it allows you to determine which speed you like.

For more information on the different types of sex toys see my library of sex toy related articles found here. (Just do a search for sex in the search box on the right.)

What toy you buy is up to you but how you go about buying it takes a little know-how on your part. After reading all of this, evaluating yourself and your life sexually you should be able to confidently purchase a sex toy with no mishaps.

Resources

Adam and Eve

Sex Tools to Please Your Man

Tips for Staying Cool in the Middle of a Heat Wave During Sex