Sex Toys & Pornography or True Intimacy?

First let me start of by saying, there are some couples who have developed a true intimacy with each other that just like to spice things up a bit now and again using sex toys. As far as pornography, my personal belief is that pornography is pretty much destructive to a couple in the intimacy department. Most women do not like it, and it tends to set up a wall between the partners. Most often it is for the man's pleasure, not for both partners. Now that I have that out of the way, let's explore why some couples use these types of distractions in order to avoid intimacy.

In a truly loving, intimate, close relationship, most individuals have no problem getting excited by their partner, and do not need sex toys, or pornography in order to initiate sex, or have a satisfying, intimate encounter. What happens with either one individual or a couple is they start to lose interest in their partner. They forget to renew knowing who that individual is and how they are growing in who they are becoming. True intimacy can only happen when you have knowledge of the other person's wants, needs, and desires. Couples tend to get lazy in this department, and become stagnant. A couple should be getting to know who their partner is on a daily basis. This keeps things fresh and alive, and a catalyst for renewed intimacy.

Some individuals and or couples start out from the very beginning using all sorts of distractions because of a fear of true intimacy. This requires being vulnerable and trusting the other person. Some people have been so hurt in the past the idea of true intimacy is like a free trip to hell. So, these couples continue to use distractions such as sex toys and pornography under the guise that it's just fun, and adds to their pleasure. That may be true in a way, but the real reason for most is avoidance of intimacy with their partner.

Remember how excited you were emotionally and physically when you first met your partner? Well, that feeling should be increasing as you get to know more and more about the love of your life, Not less. If your feelings are dissipating as you get to know them, perhaps you're not as much in love as you think you are. Yes, believe it or not, real love, and true intimacy, can be exciting after 50 years of marriage, as long as you and your partner keep it alive. You're not going to keep true intimacy and love alive through cheap tricks, cover-ups, or distractions. You will keep it alive by treating your partner as good, if not better than you did when you first met. You will keep it alive by seeing wonderment in that person every day of your life together. Truly being interested in your partner, along with love, respect, and an excitement about your life together creates true intimacy, and a great sex life, not handcuffs, and a porn flick!

FYI: Like I have always said, love and true intimacy lies between the head and the heart, Not between the legs!