Sexism in America and How You Can Stop It

I think most rationally minded people agree that when a man and a woman do the same job they should get the same pay. Well, maybe that's not true. Five out of the nine members of our Supreme Court doesn't seem to think so, but luckily we had enough members in Congress to pass a bill to side step their irrational opinion. As I was saying, most rational people agree on this point. I could go further and talk about how people of different races and different sexual orientations should get the same pay, but that is not the purpose of this essay.

No, today I'm on a soapbox about sexual discrimination. It isn't something I get upset about often enough. I'm not part of the work force any longer, and professionally speaking I didn't really experience much in the way of sexual discrimination when I did work. However, what people forget is that there are other ways that women can be discriminated against other than at the work place, and while those ways may not be legally actionable, they still need to be called out because it is by drawing attention to those wrongs that we can cause change.

No, I'm not talking about politically correct language like "postal carrier" instead of "mail man" and the like, but I am reminded of something that happened to us several years back when we were hiring a quasi friend to do some work for us. Actually, he was more of a friend of a friend, but mostly he was a rather jack of all trades. We wanted to have a lot of work done around the house, work such as tiling, painting, and so on, so we retained his services on an on again off again basis. Actually, saying "we" is incorrect. It was actually me who retained him. Oh, my husband knew I was going to hire him, but I was the one who hired the man, took the estimates, set up the date the work would be done, paid him, and so on.

We were going to hire him for a job in the spring. We had our reasons for wanting to do the work then, not earlier, but this man wanted to do the work sooner. I told him that I would understand if he was booked when spring arrived, but that I had my own reasons for not wanted to do the work earlier. He came to our home to discuss it, and I told him the same thing. I excused my self to go to the bathroom, and he turned to my husband and said, "Why don't you be a man?" My wonderful husband laughed. I imagine he had trouble getting himself back together by the time I got back because he knew that I wouldn't laugh and he didn't want a knock down drag out there in his living room. Instead, he just told the fellow that I was the one in charge of the matter.

The man left rather annoyed, and then my husband told me what had happened. Oh, well, we won't repeat what I said! I don't know what possessed me, but sometime later I got out all of the invoices for work he had done for us. For the first time I realize that, although I had always hired the man and had always written his checks, he had only put my husband's name on the invoices. I might also add that the man also knew me longer and better than he did my husband, and that my name appears first on our checking account, so he wasn't just copying it from the check.

I ranted and raved some more. My husband convinced me, for the sake of our mutual friends to keep my mouth shut.

Keeping my mouth shut has always bugged me. And it really bugged me on this one. I've tried to console myself with the fact that this guy is nutty and truly believe he was abducted by men from outer space, but it just isn't enough somehow.

What really made me think of this is that last night I was reviewing our online banking. We haven't been banking online very long. I say "we" but I mean "me." My husband doesn't do the banking, I do. I'm the one who set up the online account. And, again, my name appears first on the checking account. Actually, the account there was entirely mine until we were married a few years ago.

Not that any of this would matter except that yesterday I noticed that the checks the bank sends out when you have them pay a bill for you online only had my husband's name on them! What the #!*@!!! Like, why? Our regular checks have both of our names, right? We are both signed up for bill pay services, right?

Well, I sent the bank an email and politely but firmly asked them why. I reminded them of the facts stated above. Their response was laughable. They said that it was a mistake because they had forgotten to update the account with my name. Uhhhh, I opened the online account, remember? So, if they were "updating the account" it would be that they were updating it with his name, not mine.

I started to write a snippy note in response, but I read over what I already had written and decided I had spoken out enough. It probably wouldn't go any further than the person who had initially dealt with it, and why start their day out poorly since it was a done deal?

But I thought, hey, there is something I can do. I can write something here and tell people not to take things like this for granted. Start checking. Don't let banks or workmen or anyone treat you, your wife, your mother, your sister, or anyone you know like a second class citizens. It is only this way that we change attitudes - by letting them know we're not going to take it anymore - that makes things happen for the big issues like women getting equal pay for equal work.

Don't let people intimidate you into thinking this isn't important or that you're being unreasonable. I'm sure you don't want your daughters or grand daughters pushed around, and it isn't unreasonable to want the world a better place for them. Besides, isn't anyone who would try to prevent you from speaking out in their own way discriminating against women? They certainly aren't supporting what you believe is an important woman's issue. Think about it.

http://www.usnews.com/blogs/erbe/2009/01/08/house-democrats-prepare-ledbetter-bill-to-overturn-supreme-court-on-equal-pay-for-women.html