Sexual Abuse Recovery - Looking Back and Moving Forward

I am an adult survivor/overcomer of childhood sexual abuse. I have written many articles about the abuse and my recovery process. I am thankful for the platform I have here on Associated Content that allows me to share parts of my story and the recovery process.

Sometimes I take a few minutes to quietly reflect upon the long journey of healing and wholeness. The damage that is done to a young child who lives with his/her sexual abuse perpetrator is, without question, profound.

No Place of Safety - Compounding the Damage
In most cases, within such dysfunctional homes, there is no place of safety for the wounded child and no comfort is offered. No one comes to the rescue of a child who lives in an incestuous home. I know there are some exceptions to this statement, but, by and large, the child has no one to help and there is no place of safety. Because of this, the damage done by abuse is compounded.

Leaving Home with all the Baggage
After living in this home for the first two decades of my life, when I did leave, I took all the pain, sorrow, poor self-esteem, the rejection and yes, even the secret of the abuse with me. I had been brain-washed into believing that there was something wrong with the way I thought and spoke. I was afraid to open my mouth for fear that others would immediately see all of my faults and they would choose to have nothing to do with me. I carried the secret of the abuse and maintained my silence for five decades.

The Awakening - Let the Healing Begin
It was a gradual process of awakening for me. I began to understand that keeping the secret was further damaging me. When I finally found my voice and began to speak the truth of my past, some of my family members became extremely angry with me. Because I was an adult, those angry attempts to further silence me, were of no importance any more. I became even more determined to break the silence and the power that the sexual abuse had held over my life for so long.

Seeing Myself with New Eyes
The healing process was painful and difficult for me at first, but as I continued to press forward, I began to find a new strength and I began to see myself in a new light. I began to see myself the way God sees me and that was the most important discovery of my life. God did not see me as a person who was unable to think or speak correctly. Quite the contrary! He sees me as a His very own child and He is pleased with me. He created me as a unique individual with talents, gifts and abilities that He wants me to use in order to bring Glory to Him. That includes being able to speak and to write about my past and to tell how He brought healing and deliverance from all the garbage that was in my life because of the sexual abuse.

A Variety of Stumbling Blocks
Almost everyone has something in their life that has caused wounds and pain and suffering. Not many people make it through life without having to overcome something in order to live well. Sexual abuse was my stumbling block, but there are many other stumbling blocks that come across our pathway in life. You can probably name yours very quickly and easily.

Hurting People Hurt People
No matter what the "name" of that stumbling block, there is always a way of escape from the bondage that it brings into our lives. Those bondages have names, such as fear, anxiety, stress, defeat, rejection, self-pity, the list could go on and on. Once we understand where these bondages come from, we can change the way we respond to life and to people. I've often heard Joyce Meyer, who is also a survivor/overcomer of childhood sexual abuse say, "Hurting people hurt people." When we are hurting we tend to lash out at whoever happens to be closest to us, most of the time, that would be the people we love most.

Profound Damage - Profound Healing
Today, as I reflect back over my life, I understand that the abuse was a part of it all. I cannot and will not deny that it happened to me. At the same time, however, I understand that the abuse was only a part of my life, not the entirety of it. Because of that fact, I am able to put it into perspective and live a good life. The changes that have taken place in me are profound, in fact, those changes for good are as profound as the abuse itself.

The Nevertheless Principle
I recall reading a book by Marion Bond West many years ago. The title was "The Nevertheless Principle". According to this amazing author, she had discovered that in whatever measure of pain and suffering we have in life, God brings to us in equal measure His blessings and goodness. I have found her theory to be true in my own life.

Source:

My Life

Other articles you might want to read:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/772613/from_disgrace_by_grace.html?cat=72

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/653013/sexual_abuse_recovery_the_amazing_grace.html?cat=7

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/655587/the_heart_of_the_matter_sexual_abuse.html?cat=72