Sexual Abuse of Toddlers: Six Behavioral Signs to Look for in Your Child
Sudden changes in behavior and personality may be the first indication of sexual abuse. If your out-going toddler suddenly becomes fearful or clingy, or your laid-back child starts acting recklessly, pay attention. Your toddler may have been sexually abused.
Sexual Abuse Behavioral Indicator #1: Regression
Regression often occurs with children who have been sexually abused. My son went from being potty-trained to wetting his pants during the day. He suddenly needed a security item and began carrying around a blanket.
Thankfully my son didn't experience total regression from his sexual abuse. Other signs of regression include a decrease in verbal skills, thumb-sucking, and a decrease in independence.
Sexual Abuse Behavioral Indicator #2: Fear, Both Specific and General
If your child suddenly becomes fearful, take note of what scares him. It could be general fear - things like not wanting to leave Mom's side or being afraid of the dark. These are the fears my son faced suddenly after being sexually abused. He did not want to be alone.
Specific fears may seem irrational, but they could provide clues as well. Fear of women with long, brown hair, for instance, may seem strange, but maybe a woman with long, brown hair is hurting your child. A fear of being left at daycare could be explained if your toddler is being sexually abused at her daycare.
If your child never had problems being scared before, a sexual abuse situation could trigger these fears now.
Sexual Abuse Behavioral Indicator #3: Sexual Behavior
This is perhaps the biggest indicator of sexual abuse - an increased awareness of sexuality. Depending upon the child's age, some sexual behavior is normal. However, if your toddler suddenly seems over-sexed, it's time to figure out what's going on. Chances are he's being sexually abused.
Increased sexual behavior was my red flag that my son had been sexually abused. My toddler started masturbating and rubbing his private areas against bunched up blankets. He started touching women inappropriately, often trying to sneak his hand inside their shirts.
With sexual behaviors, the most important thing to observe is whether the behavior is practiced to the exclusion of other normal childhood activities. If your toddler, like my son, would rather hump a pillow than play with toys, then it's abnormal and should be taken very seriously.
Sexual Abuse Behavioral Indicator #4: Repetitious Behavior
Repetitious behavior is an indicator of a stressor, including sexual abuse. Repeating a behavior brings back a sense of security for a child, especially if it garners the same result each time. If your toddler is repeating behavior, sexual or non-sexual, to the exclusion of normal childhood activities, there is something wrong.
Sexual Abuse Behavioral Indicator #5: Aggression
If your laid-back child is suddenly very angry or aggressive toward other children, adults or animals, he may have been sexually abused. Toddlers aren't able to communicate what's wrong, so they become frustrated and moody. My son became very sullen and angry, and it was a puzzle to me until he was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, stemming from the sexual abuse. A common symptom of PTSD is rage, regardless of the age of the patient.
Sexual Abuse Behavioral Indicator #6: Change in Sleeping Habits
A change in sleeping habits may indicate sexual abuse. Sexual abuse to a toddler will completely shatter her independence, her sense of security, her innocence. Monsters have suddenly become very real. If your toddler has night terrors, an inability to sleep alone, cries hysterically when being tucked in, or she won't stay in her own bed, she may have been sexually abused.
Seek Professional Advice
Behavior or personality changes don't always indicate sexual abuse, so be aware of other stressors which may be affecting your toddler's behavior. In my situation with my son, his change in behavior occurred shortly after his sister was born. Also, he was two years old, so I attributed some of his bad behavior on the 'terrible twos'. Sexual abuse was the furthest thing from my mind, until he came home with obvious physical signs of sexual abuse.
You know your toddler best, so listen to your gut. If you won't advocate for your child, no one else will. If any of these indicators ring true and you suspect your toddler is a victim of sexual abuse, contact a health-care professional immediately.
Published by Heather K. Adams
Heather K. Adams is an award-winning journalist with the North Dakota Newspaper Association. While she can write on many topics, she specializes in personalized national and state news reports, music, and pa... View profile
- Warning Signs of Child Sexual Abuse
- Taking a Zero Tolerance Approach When Talking to Your Child About Sexual Abuse
- Child Abuse: Sexual, Physical, and Neglect
- Assessing Child Abuse Risk Factors
- How to Report Child Abuse on a Friend or Family Member
- Healing Challenges Specific to Mother-Daughter Sexual Abuse
- Sexual Abuse and How it Affected My Life
- Increased sexual behavior is a strong indicator of sexual abuse.
- Personality changes often occur in toddlers who have suffered sexual abuse.
- Problems sleeping at night? Your toddler may have been sexually abused.
85 Comments
Post a Commentwhen i was a small child i was abused by my mom and sexualy,mentaly and physicaly abused by dad and sexualy abused by grandpa.i was scared of everything example tooth ferry,the devil,dying and now i cant sexually help my husband
My daughter told me that one day a close person to me has touched her dollies privates. I called the cops and cps they did a investigation and asked my daughter questions but never got any results all they said is that it was inconclusive. But with out any one telling her to say any thing she is now saying that it was not the person she claimed but that it was a child around her age. My thing is I do not think that they spent enough time talking to her. I was told that the interview they did with her would last an hour but within five they were done. I thought that was a litle odd.
dad of a daughter that was touched and she said more then the average knows when shes only 4
One night after a bath she said alot of details so i called cas and police not much has happened he left till the results came back of the polygraph and she said it hurt down below. Polygraph negative. Cas and police haven't done much. Doctor feels something has happened she has told cas and myself and my fiancee what happen
dad of a daughter that was touched and she said more then the average knows when shes only 4
what do you do when you report it but have no proof and the authorities cant do anything, young child wont tell anyone else anything other than who is scared of and that they hurt him, they are accusing me of lying but my young child has disclosed to me.
hi, i am a 22 year old women, married with two little girls. my babies are 1 and a half and three and a half. i am very worried about my oldest to me it seems she is being molested while in the biological fathers custody, when she comes home from there she acts really different as in: acting like she is the boss and that she doesnt have to obey, throwing things, not eating, talking to both my huband and i with disrespect ect... things she would never normally do. ALSO EVERY time she would come home from her visits with him she would wet the bed and wake up seconds before or after 1 a.m. at least two nights after being with him screaming crying most of the time saying "i dont want you i want my mommy" or repeditively saying "no, no, no ,no" someimes saying dont touch me ...enough to make me worried sick. when my oldest was two years old even then the things above were happening, but one night i was giving her a bath and she kept telling me over and over how bad her &
Its a scary and unexpected turn in our childrens life's but "WE" as the parents or guardians have to keep fighting for them. If we give up and NOT do the right thing "WE" are accountable and it is then that we should feel it's our fault. Never give up. Our babies Need Us NOW more than ever! Always asks 4 GODs guidence so that you are able to spend your life helping to make Right Choices for our helpless babies instead of facing Life in Prison for making a bad choice and never able 2 protect our children from this ABUSE ever again.
Please lets send a Email to Michelle Obama to help us, as a group of activist, WEHAVE THE POWER TO CHNGE ALL THIS PEOPLE ALL WE NEED IS FIND A PLCE IN THE INTERNET TO FIGURE OUT A PETTION IWILL BE ON THE LOOK OUT. ESPECIALY A GROUP ON FACEBOOK COULD REALLY HELP US. SEE U THERE!!!
my grandson is 22 mos old. several mos. ago he started having visits with his dad. everything was fine at first. now he is constantly touching his penis and nipples. he screams every time his Dad is picking him up now. Where he didn't do this before. His private areas have been red but not all the time or every time he returns him. It is hard to know what's going on, but I am worried. My daughter told me that the father was molested when he was younger. What do we do?
All of the comments indicate signs of sexual abuse. But know the only way you will see the actually abuse is that you look at the rectum or vagina every day to catch it open or dilated. I just happen to catch my sons right after the intital contact. His rectum was so large, as large as a round toilet paper roll hole it was like I could see his stomach. Other than that emergency room can not tell because the vagina or rectum is closed it begin closing up rapidly so they can not see the sexual assault dilation. Now I check his rectum everyday.