Sexual Activity and Teenagers: What Should You Do When Your Child Asks for Birth Control?

Statistics show that among all the teenagers in the United States, 63.1% will become sexually active by the time they reach the 12^th grade. One million teenage girls end up pregnant each year. Seventeen percent of sexually active teenagers contract sexually transmitted diseases (STD's) each year. Teens are usually sexually active for 9 months before they begin using birth control at all. These are all very frightening statistics.

Imagine you are sitting at the kitchen table and your 16 year old daughter says: "Mom, can I talk to you." When you hear these words, you begin worrying right away; because, getting your teen to talk to you about anything has become almost impossible. She continues the conversation: "I really love my boyfriend and I can't wait to have sex any longer, will you help me get birth control?" After your heart returns to your chest; and you've stopped screaming and crying; what are you going to do?

By now, you should have been talking to your teenager about sex. You've probably have given her all the warnings about pregnancy and STD's. You've told her about the moral issues and emotional issues involved. So what do you do? This is the dilemma my friend is facing now. She doesn't want to encourage her teenage daughter to begin having sex but she doesn't want her to become pregnant either.

She came to me because I have had a little experience on the subject of teens and sex. I am the mother of five daughters. All of who became pregnant as teenagers. I had followed the experts' advice and had educated my daughters about sex and birth control. I told them that they could come to me or just go to a Planned Parenthood center to get birth control if they ever felt that they could no longer abstain from sex. They apparently had decided to ignore me.

So, I said to my friend that she should be very proud of her daughter and of their relationship. I reminded her that her daughter didn't have to come to her to get birth control (most states do not require parental permission to get it). Her daughter could've been like mine and waited to tell her that she was sexually active after something had gone wrong. But, instead, her daughter decided to do the responsible thing and talk to her Mom. She felt better about things. One thing that we both knew is that once the decision to become sexually active has been made; a teen will rarely turn away from it.

My friend decided to take her daughter to the doctor to get a physical exam and start her daughter on birth control. Even with birth control, a teen should be reminded that if they are sexually active they need to be concerned about sexually transmitted diseases. They should know their partner and about his sexual past. They themselves should be regularly tested for STD's and they should make sure their partner has been tested too.

It is very difficult to be the parent of a sexually active teenager. There so many things to worry about and all you want is your baby back. But all the wishing in the world, will not accomplish this; the only sensible thing to do is to help them protect themselves and then pray for them.

Statistics for this article were found at:

National Campaign to Prevent Pregnancy, "Teen Sexual Activity in the United States", URL.

Chandra Hawley