Sexual Attractions to People Other Than Our Mate

A common source of arguments between some couples stems from insecurity and human nature. When we engage in a relationship it is only natural to feel possessive or territorial, to some extent. We all know that a person can get a little crazy when we fall in love. Although we all know there is nothing wrong with feeling attracted to another person but, it is not always easy to accept the fact that the one we love is attracted to someone else, even if we know they are not going to act on those feelings of basic attraction.

I am very fortunate to have a boyfriend who respects me enough to keep those types of feelings to his self. He does not inform me of how hot the new girl at work is, or stare at other women in my presence. I respect him enough to also not rub his nose in the fact that I think his closest friend is smoking hot. While I might secretly drool a little or fantasize about his friends gorgeous body and dreamy eyes, or all of the things we have in common, I am able to maintain a cordial and pleasant relationship with his friend and not cause any uncomfortable moments.

When I confessed my little crush to my friend Donna, she got very upset with me and asked me how I could cheat in my mind. This inspired me to write this article. I am a young woman, who has a very healthy sexual appetite. I am human. I am adult enough to admit that yes, I am attracted to other men. I love and respect my boyfriend but I am also realistic, we are a long term unmarried couple. I have taken no vows. There is no guarantee we will be together forever or he is the last man I will have ex with. I would never cheat, but I can fantasize all I want.

Everyone develops little crushes whether we admit it or not. My boyfriend might adore, desire and respect me, but do you expect me to believe he has never had sexual thought about any other woman? Sex is every where, it is on our minds, on television, and obvious in many other places too. Why do we feel ashamed for being sexually attracted to someone who is not our partner if we would never act on those feelings? Why are some other people so quick to pass judgment on those of us who do admit feeling attracted to another person? Maybe I just never realized that being in a relationship was like a death sentence- meaning you are sexually dead to all others?