Sexual Behaviors of Preschool Children: When Should You Seek Professional Help?

In my article "Sexual Abuse of Toddlers: Six Behavioral Signs to Look for in Your Child," one of the behavioral signs of sexual abuse was an increased sexual awareness. I have had many people ask me what specific sexual behaviors are natural and healthy for preschool children, which should be of concern, and when to seek professional help.

When I was dealing with the sexual abuse of my then three-year-old son, I received a lot of information about the sexual behaviors of preschool children. A study by Toni Cavanagh Johnson, Ph.D. looked at 14 areas of sexual behavior of preschool children and determined to what degree these sexual behaviors should cause concern or be treated by a professional.

Sexual Behaviors of Preschool Children: Natural and Healthy Sexual Behaviors

Every child has a natural curiosity for their private parts, especially preschool children. Touching or rubbing their own genitals is natural and healthy during diaper changes or when falling asleep at night. Preschool children may even touch or rub in times of stress, when they are excited (non-sexual excitement), or when they are scared.

Just as every child has a natural curiosity for their own private parts, preschool children are curious about what everyone else's private parts look like. Asking questions about the differences between boys and girls is a completely natural and healthy sexual behavior for preschool children. It is also a natural and healthy sexual behavior for preschool children to try to touch the private parts of familiar adults and children. Preschool children will often take advantage of opportunities to look at nude people, and ask about tough subjects such as intercourse, breasts and babies.

For male preschool children, it's a natural and healthy sexual behavior for them to obtain erection. Preschool children love to be nude and may try to show other people their genitals, and playing doctor or house is common for preschool children.

Especially during the potty-training years, preschool children are interested in watching people while they go to the bathroom. They may use 'dirty' words to describe bathroom functions or sexual functions. Preschool children often have a fascination with their own feces. As startling as this may seem, it is a natural and healthy sexual behavior for preschool children to put something in their own genitals or rectum one time for curiosity or exploration.

Sexual Behaviors of Preschool Children: Sexual Behaviors of Concern

Sexual behaviors parents should be concerned about in their preschool children include increased awareness or curiosity, or if the preschool child has been told 'no' repeatedly and the sexual behavior continues.

If all questions about genitals, genital differences, intercourse, babies, or breast feeding have been answered, yet the preschool child continues to ask questions about these subjects, then it's time to be concerned. Be alert if preschool children continue sexual behavior such as rubbing or touching themselves, attempting to touch others, humping other people with their clothes on, wanting to be nude in public, or putting objects into their genitals after being told 'no'. Take note if the preschool child's interest in bathroom or sexual functions does not wane in a few days or weeks.

Sexual Behaviors of Preschool Children: Seek Professional Help

It's important for a parent to know when to seek professional help. The most important thing to remember about sexual behaviors of preschool children is that if the behaviors occur to the exclusion of normal childhood activities, it is time to find help.

Some examples of sexual behaviors of preschool children that may require professional help include:

Touching or rubbing himself excessively, often hurting his own genitals;
Sneakily touching adults, demanding others touch him;
Asking people to take off their clothes or attempting to forcibly disrobe people;
Asking strangers about sexual intercourse, genitals, breast feeding and babies;
Refusing to leave people alone in the bathroom, forcing her way into the bathroom;
Refusing to wear clothes or secretly showing himself in public after several scoldings;
Coercing other children to play doctor or to take off their clothes;
Painfully forcing the insertion of an object into the genitals or rectum of himself or other children; and
Simulating intercourse without clothing.

Above all else, follow your instincts. If your preschool child is suddenly behaving differently and is displaying increased sexual behaviors, seek professional help. This article is only meant to be used as a guideline. I am not a doctor or a medical professional. I'm just a mother who unfortunately has experience in dealing with the sexual behaviors of my preschool child.

Source:

"Understanding Children's Sexual Behaviors - What's Natural and Healthy," by Toni Cavanagh Johnson, Ph.D.