Sexual Fulfillment Versus Sexual Addiction

Have you ever noticed how the terms nymphomania, hypersexuality, erotomania, perversion, and sexual obsession all seem to point toward the discussion of sexual addiction? I know I have, and the more I hear people discuss these terms, the more I wonder... Is there really a clear-cut line between a person being sexually fulfilled, and that person having an active addiction? Surprisingly, the answer to this question is no.

For many of years, bio-medical and mental health agents have been up in arms over this topic. Sure, they agree that "addiction" exists, and they say the term describes a wide variety of behaviors that are self-destructive to a person who cannot stop what they are doing; especially when he or she will face unpleasant consequences (NASA, WebMD, Kennard). Unfortunately, they fail to prove the answer that most of us seek; "exactly how does "addiction" link to sexual behavior, and are we addicts if our desires/actions fall outside the norm?"

In order to answer these questions, a person must examine his or her own sexual appetite. Does he or she have a naturally stronger appetite for sex than his/her peers? Does he/she enjoy pornographic pleasures, masturbation, S&M, or multiple sex partners? Has he/she ever spent time dating people from personal ads, engaging in sexual conversation over the Internet, or found him/herself attracted to any other sexual activities that violate the mainstream population? If so, the person needs to decide if these activities hinder their ability to work, pay their bills, and take care of their children/spouse? If not, then it is OK for two consenting adults to enjoy all types of sexual activities. They just need to use caution, and not enjoy it so much that their normal everyday life suffers.

Ok, so a few of you might be wondering, what can be done to help a person who has signs of a sexual addiction? The answer may not be as simple as you hoped it would be. I say this because most addicts live in a state of denial, and it is hard to help anyone who refuses to admit that there is a problem. Then again, admitting is only the first stage. Even when people admit to having potential problems, they may decide to refuse treatment, and treatment only works when the individual works the program.

No matter what happens, it is important to be prepared with resources. This means that you should seek information about a variety of therapeutic options. Keep in mind that a potential treatment could include one-on-one sessions, 12-step group programs, internet recovery groups, or other medical services. I personally recommend consulting a certified/licensed sex therapist, because he or she will be the most educated concerning any area of sexual dysfunction. No matter which option you chose, remember that sexual addiction is a profitable business, and just because a therapist claims to have worked with sexual issues, does not mean that he or she has been certified.

References:

Stephens, E. (ND). Handouts for Workshops on Sexual Addiction. Retrieved on March 11, 2010 from CSA-Addictions website: http://www.csa-addictions.ie/images/Workshop%20handouts.pdf

Medicinenet (2007) Sexual Addiction. Retrieved March 11, 2010 from the MedicineNet website: http://www.medicinenet.com/sexual_addiction/article.htm

Kennard, J. (2008) Sexual Addiction. Retrieved on March 11, 2010 from the About.com website: http://menshealth.about.com/od/sexualhealth/a/sexual_addictio.htm

NASA (2010). Sexual Addiction. Retrieved on March 11, 2010 from the NASA website: http://www.hq.nasa.gov/office/ospp/securityguide/Eap/Sex.htm

Silverberg, C. (2008a). What is Sex Addiction?. Retrieved on March 11, 2010 from the About.com website: http://sexuality.about.com/od/sexualscience/a/sex_addiction_.htm

Silverberg, C. (2008b). What is Sex Addiction?. Retrieved on March 11, 2010 from the About.com website: http://sexuality.about.com/od/sexualscience/a/sex_addiction__2.htm

WebMD. (2010). Sexual Addiction. Retrieved on March 1, 2010 from the webmd website: http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/guide/sexual-addiction