Sexual Satisfaction and Communication Between Couples

It is not easy to understand your wife or your husband. There are far more complicated things beneath the superficial sex difference and the personality difference between genders. One of the important elements in your marriage relationship is sexual activity, which plays an important role in terms of understanding, interaction and communication between the couple. Your spouse needs to understand more needs other than the physical and sexual ones; rather, emotional factor is also important to determine the satisfaction shared in the sexual activity. Men want love for sex, women want sex for love.

Often the wife cannot experience full sexual pleasure unless the sexual experience is but a part of a larger context of mutual harmony, understanding and a continuing communion in affection for one another. The erotic curve, in the man, takes the appearance of a rapid rise to its peak followed by an equally rapid decline. It is by nature essentially impulsive and sexual. This is why at times a wife may say, "you do not love me, you only want me!" all of which means that she can neither understand nor accept this masculine form of love, impulsive and of short duration. She would like her husband to love as she does, tenderly and continually. Such lack of understanding can lead the wife as far as to complete disgust for the sexual experience. That her husband should wish to have union with her, while they have hardly cooled off from a heated argument, this she finds quite impossible to understand.

Many wives, similarly, find it difficult to understand that a husband may be tempted sexually. That a man so prominent, so respected, so intelligent, should be in the throes of such base and vulgar temptation-at this his wife can only be completely incensed. She thinks that if he really loved her he would not think of the women, whereas it is precisely because of his love for her that he confides his struggle to her. He feels misunderstood, condemned, and despised. He withdraws into himself. Henceforth he will avoid such confidence which only cast a shadow on their marital unity. Yet, the veil of silence may well jeopardize their marriage far more than his sex drive. The best protection against sexual temptations is to be able to speak honestly of them and to find, in the wife's understanding, without any trace of complicity whatsoever, effective and affective help needed to overcome them.