Shaq, LeBron Blame All-Star Loss on Night of Dancing

Shaquille O'Neal, star center from the Miami Heat and LeBron James, the high flying Cleveland Cavaliers swingman, took the brunt of the blame for Eastern Conference getting annihilated in Sunday's NBA All Star Game. The pair attributed their lackluster performance in the 153-132 loss to a night of dancing along the Las Vegas strip.

"As soon as Shaq did the booty pop I knew it was on," said James, who overcame a slow start to pace the East with 28 points in spite of sore dancing feet. "We set if off during practice and didn't stop until the sun came up. That's what this weekend is all about: having fun."

O'Neal, who missed a point-blank dunk and several layups en route to a 10-point performance in only 17 minutes, was suffering from lower back pains due to his ill-advised attempt to do the snake. "We were kind of stiff, so the game was a little lopsided," said O'Neal who also attempted a shimmy-shake during the game. "But that's OK. They came here to see a show, and they got a show."

Eddie Jordan, who coached the Eastern Conference squad, was disappointed that his All-Star debut was ruined by his pop-locking frontcourt. The East team led only once and trailed by as many as 33 points in the humiliating loss.

"Plain and simple: [the Western Conference All Stars] were ready to play," said Jordan. "Kobe [Bryant, the game MVP], [Suns forward Amare] Stoudamire and those guys spent Saturday night preparing the way true all-stars should: partying with celebrities, playing high stakes blackjack and poker and availing themselves of legalized prostitutes in upscale brothels."

"What kind of idiot comes to Las Vegas to dance?" continued a baffled Jordan.

Spokesmen from both teams refused to confirm or deny rumors that Shaq and James would perform a halftime dance-off on February 25^th, when the Cavaliers play the Heat in Miami. "I'm looking forward to the challenge," said Shaq. "They're ahead of us in the standings. If we're going to get back into the playoffs and defend our title, we have to bust a move -I mean make a move- real soon."